IELTS Task 2 Writing

Question

HiPlease review this IELTS Task 2 Writing for me.­­­­­­­­International tourism has brought enormous benefits to many places. At the same time there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the advantages?International tourism is beneficial to a country in many ways. However, it is felt that it has adverse effect on the local inhabitants and the environment. I believe that international tourism has more advantages than disadvantages.First, International tourism is a major source of foreign currency to a country especially if it is an under-developed or a developing country without much export potential. Second, international tourism provides job opportunities to many educated young people as tourist guides and tour operators, among others. Third, the visit of international tourists gives a remarkable boost to the local business. Nilgiris, a major hill station in South India, attracts thousands of foreign tourists every year and the local business people who run small guest houses, eateries, and shopping centers make appreciable profits because of these tourists.Those who oppose international tourism contend that foreign tourists pollute water resources by disposing into them plastic in the form of polythene bags, tumblers, and containers. They have also been seen to have camp fires in or very near agricultural lands thus causing undue hardships to the farmers. Further, by sporting outfits of their choice they knowingly or unknowingly show disrespect to the local customs and cultural heritage of the place.  Further, this can have a serious effect on the young people of the region as they can cite these tourists as examples while expressing their desire for the same or similar attires.   In conclusion, though there are a few disadvantages with international tourism, the advantages certainly outnumber them. Considering its economic benefits, every country must promote it after ensuring necessary check-in mechanisms have been set up to deal with the challenges.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

International tourism is beneficial to a country in many ways. However, it is felt that it has adverse effects on the local inhabitants (You can use "people" as a synonym.) and the environment. I believe that international tourism has more advantages than disadvantages.

First, International (International is only capitalized at the

First, International (International is only capitalized at the start of a sentence or in a proper name.) tourism is a major source of foreign currency to a country especially if it is an under-developed or a developing country without many exports. much export potential. (It's ok, but future potential is not as relevant) Second, international tourism provides job opportunities to many educated young people as tourist guides and tour operators, among others and it also ~~Third, the visit of international tourists~~ gives a remarkable boost to the local business. Nilgiris, a major hill station in South India, attracts thousands of foreign tourists every year and the local business people who run small guest houses, eateries, and shopping centers make appreciable profits because of these tourists.

(You are repeating "tourist" too much. Also, it is far better to have one or two well-developed arguments than three "bullet" style points. All three of your "points" are all closely related to earning foreign currency - the local workers get paid for jobs and the money is infused into the businesses. They are not really separate points. Put them all together as a coherent and cohesive discussion on foreign currency earnings. It will elevate your score.

There is another advantage in that the young people will get to practice their English as many of the tourists know English.

Devote more words to the side you agree with - it will make the essay stronger and get a higher band score.

You wrote just under 100 words on the side you agree with and just over 100 words on the side you disagreed with. That is balanced to the wrong side; you need to tip the balance towards your side. You can also put a mild rebuttal in the opposite side.

)

Those who oppose international tourism contend that foreign tourists pollute water resources by ~~disposing~~ throwing garbage into them. ~~into them~~ (The direct object is placed directly after the verb. reposition the prepositional phrase after the object.) ~~plastic in the form of polythene bags, tumblers, and containers~~. They have also been seen to have camp fires in or very near agricultural lands thus causing undue hardships to the farmers. Further, by sporting outfits of their choice they knowingly or unknowingly show disrespect to the local customs and cultural heritage of the place. Further, this can have a serious effect on the young people of the region as they can cite these tourists as examples while expressing their desire for the same or similar attires.

(Your disadvantages paragraph is too choppy with little coherence and cohesion. You need a better paragraph topic sentence. The one you have is throwing trash into the water. The other points are not related to this topic. )

In conclusion, though there are a few disadvantages with international tourism, the advantages certainly outnumber them. (Be careful of going out of the bounds of the task. You were only asked to write about advantages and disadvantages, not give a recommendation.) ~~Considering its economic benefits, every country must promote it after ensuring necessary check-in mechanisms have been set up to deal with the challenges~~.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

Here is a sample based on your arguments

Note that some disadvantages are mentioned, but the main focus is on the advantages. This gives credence to your position.

There are two main advantages: foreign income and development of language skills. The two points are well developed with examples.

There are two disadvantages: environmental impact and the effect on impressionable teens. But there is a rebuttal that the effects can be curtailed.

Notice the use of pronouns to avoid repetition.

International tourism is beneficial to a country in many ways; however, it can have adverse effects on the local people and the environment. I believe that it has far more advantages than disadvantages.

International tourism has significant advantages especially for under-developed or developing countries. First, it is often the major source of foreign currency that can be used to invest in infrastructure, education and preservation of historic monuments and sites. The income creates many local jobs for guides, tour operators, taxi drivers and other workers in the hospitality sector. And it gives a welcome boost to the local businesses. For example, Nilgiris, a major hill station in South India, attracts thousands of foreigners every year and the local business people who run small guest houses, eateries, and shopping centers make much-needed profits from them. Second, the travelers who come are usually fluent in English and they offer an invaluable way for young educated people to practice their language skills. Many of them take temporary jobs as guides in order to become more fluent. Indeed, one of my friends did this a few years ago and was accepted into a university in the US

Others are concerned about the negatives, mainly that foreigners do not respect the indigenous cultures or the environment. They often litter the roads and pollute the rivers by heedlessly tossing plastic waste. Local teenagers, being very impressionable, see the fancy clothes, electronic gadgets and designer watches that tourists typically wear, and desire to imitate them. This can erode their cultural heritage, driving the country toward materialism. However, there are sensible measures to avoid and mitigate the problems.

In conclusion, though there are a few disadvantages such as pollution and loss of cultural values, the advantages certainly overwhelm them.

IELTS Task 2 Writing

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