Ielts task 2. Please help me improving my english

Some people think that schoolchildren should prefer learning domestic history to international history. Personally, I totally disagree with this views because I think that both local history and world history have the same importance in the development of students.

On the one hand, there are several reasons why schools should teach their students local history. The main reason is that learning history of their country helps students have thorough insights into what happened in the past. For instance, in primary school, we are taught how our ancestors defended their land again outside intruders and reclaimed their sovereignty. As a result, students will know more treasure the freedom and life they know as it is today. Furthermore, schoolchildren should have responsibility to learn and understand about their tradition and cultural identify. Consequently, they will try to maintain and develop their custom and social behaviour of their country.

On the other hand, the importance of world history should not be underestimated. Firstly, learning world history equips students with a more well-rounded perspective of life. For instance lesson about world war and gender discrimination help teenagers more understand the event in the past and how the world has form as present. Secondly, when students come to resident in new country, they will receive welcoming treatment from the locals of host country because they feel that newcomers are showing their respect for the local way of life. Moreover, when applicants apply for a foreign company such Japanese company. They will receive outstanding attention for other candidates, if they express their interest as well as their knowledge in Japanese culture.

In conclusion, with many reasons above, I would argue that it is equally important for schoolboys and schoolgirls to learn local and international history