IELTS task 2 , please give me some feedbacks

Scientists believe that eating fast food is harmful to one’s health. Some people think that education can help them change that bad habit. Others, however, argue that education does not work. Discuss both these views.

These days, many researchers find out that fast foods have negative effects on people's health. Some consumers believe that education can not help them to stop eating junk food while others think that it is helpful. This essay will discuss both sides and outline my personal opinion.

On the one hand, there are some reasons why people think education can not help them to change their fast food habits. Firstly, people have to try hard for a long time to change their habits step by step. So many busy people do not have enough time to learn or research about diet daily or nutrition systems, such as students. Secondly, many companies usually post a lot of wrong information in their advertisements and make consumers believe that fast foods do not have bad effects on health. For example, many fast food companies say their products are the best for bodybuilders or teenagers.

On the other hand, there are several reasons why people believe that education is helpful. First of all, education may help people find out the best way to change their lifestyle. That is because people may have science daily and advice from scientists around the world. Secondly, people may think twice before eating junk food when they read or learn about harmful statistics of fast food. For instance, many governments try to raise people’s awareness about the effect of fast food by sharing their researches on social networks or TVs.

In conclusion, this is a topic which has been discussed by a large number of people around the world. In my opinion, I believe that education is helpful for people changing their eating fast food habits.

Các nhà khoa h?c tin r?ng an th?c an nhanh có h?i cho s?c kh?e c?a m?t ngu?i. M?t s? ngu?i nghi r?ng giáo d?c có th? giúp h? thay d?i thói quen x?u dó. Tuy nhiên, nh?ng ngu?i khác l?i cho r?ng giáo d?c không hi?u qu?. Th?o lu?n v? c? hai quan di?m này.