Ielts Task 2- please checking my essay, thank you

1. There are more workers who work from home and more students who study form home. This is because computer technology is increasingly accessible and cheaper. Do you think this is positive or negative development?

Nowadays, with cheaper and more accessible computer technology, working and studying at home are become more common. In my opinion, this development is negative because it makes some detrimental effects on people's lives.

First of all, working at home or home-schooling is not good for people because it makes them lack social skills which interferes with their relationships and communication. Since, people working and studying at home do not interact with others, they will not have many chances to learn and practice some skills such as communication skills, interpersonal skills and team work skills which play a crucial role in working and studying effectively. This leads to their difficulties in working with others and succeeding in life. For example, students who study at home instead of at schools can have few opportunities to work in teams which results in their lack of teamwork skills. These people may be unemployed when they graduate because teamwork skills are necessary in many fields.

Second, working or studying at home is negative because people may not get as good results as working at enterprises and studying at schools. If people go to work or study at schools they will be put in a competitive working or studying environment where cause them to try to catch up with others. Therefore, they will make an effort to improve their level of working or academic performance. In contrast, without the competitions between fellow co-workers or students, people might not have motivation and inspiration to keep moving forwards and work harder so as to be more successful than others.

In conclusion, in order to integrate into social life and have achieve better results people should not work or study at home, instead they should work at their companies or study at schools