Ielts task 2: More and more people in the city live in small space & without outdoor space. Do you think it is a negative or positive development?

Question

In recent years, people often have different views about the shortage of space for housing and outsides places in urban areas. While it is believed by some that this phenomenon will have positive influences on people’s life, I am convinced that lack of space will cause lots of negative changes.

On the one hand, accommodations and outsides areas play important parts in people’s life, especially the entertainment of human beings. Being in large space. People will feel more tranquil and peaceful thanks to airy space. Therefore, they will free themselves from the stuffs in their life, which can enhance their mental health. Likewise, if people have outdoor space, they will stand good chance of attending lots of outsides activities. As a result, they can have a rest and reduce the stress level in social life.

On the other hand, people who live in small space and lack in outdoor areas may experience a negative development in the education. They are short of space for privacy, which distracts them from the concentration on work or their study. As a result, people will acquire knowledge in less efficient way. Besides, lack of outdoor space results in a considerable decline in creativity and studiousness because they do not have enough space to explore the natural things around them.

In conclusion, it is obvious that there are two main negative effect for the shortages of housing areas and outdoor space in the city.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

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Subject: Please review my IELTS task 2 essay

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Topic: More and more people in the city live in small space & without outdoor space. Do you think it is a negative or positive development?

My essay:

(Your text here...)
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AlpheccaStars · Answer

B?ng ChiIelts task 2: More and more people in the city live in small space & without outdoor space. Do you think it is a negative or positive development?

You repeat the word "space" a lot. Learn to use different expressions. An outdoor space in an urban context can be a city park, a playground, a nature area or a sports field.

In recent years, people often have different views (That is not a good start. The topic does not talk about other people's views and ask you if you agree. It is only asking you about your opinion on the subject. ) about the shortage of space for housing and outsides (wrong form ) places in urban areas. While it is believed by some ( The topic does not mention other people's beliefs.) that this ~~phenomenon~~ (Not a good word choice.) will have positive influences on people’s life, I am convinced that lack of space will cause lots of negative changes.

On the one hand, accommodations and outsides areas are ~~play~~ important parts in people’s life, especially the entertainment of human beings. (Avoid "human beings" unless you are comparing out species with other animal species. e.g. Dogs have a keener sense of smell than humans.) Being in large space. (fragment, not a sentence) People will feel more tranquil and peaceful ~~thanks to airy space~~. Therefore, they will free themselves from the stuffs (wrong word. Also wrong form. "Stuff" is non-count.) ) in their life, which can enhance (wrong word - can keep them mentally healthy.) their mental health. Likewise, if people have outdoor space, they will stand good chance of attending lots of outsides activities. As a result, they can have a rest and reduce the stress level in social life. (???)

Example paragraph:

People's living spaces have a major impact on their lives. If they are confined to small areas, it is like living in a cage, like an animal in a zoo. People need fresh air and nature around them to be happy and mentally healthy. Working people need a place to escape from a stressful job so they can think about their lives and develop a successful career. Students need places to exercise, relax and enjoy themselves with their fellow students. If they live in a tiny flat, and can only walk on crowded streets with polluted air, their health as well as their ability to learn will be adversely affected. And children who have no playgrounds where they can have fun with their friends will suffer both mental and physical problems.

On the other hand, people who live in a small space and have no access to parks or green spaces ~~lack in~~ ~~outdoor areas~~ may experience a negative development in the education. (??) They are short of space for privacy, which distracts them from the concentration on work or their study. As a result, people will acquire knowledge in a less efficient way. Besides, lack of outdoor space results in a considerable decline in creativity and studiousness because they (who?) do not have enough space to explore the natural things around them.

In conclusion, ~~it is obvious that~~ there are two main negative effect (wrong form) for the shortages (wrong form) of housing areas and outdoor space in the city.

Ielts task 2: More and more people in the city live in small space & without outdoor space. Do you think it is a negative or positive development?

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