IELTS task 2 - Essay about Children and decision making
Please help me to review my essay below. Thank you for your time and support!
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Question: Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes, and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
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My essay:
It is often argued that whether letting children decide on daily matters as this seemingly will make them become selfish. In my opinion, it is crucial for children to develop decision making skill, especially on issues that impact on them.
Admittedly, there are some possible downsides of encouraging children to choose what they want. One of these is this can provoke self-centeredness because they would grow up with a habit of thinking about their own desires, not of others. Moreover, this habit is likely to lead to competitive adults for they will try to achieve what they want. For example, it can be small things like food, clothes, or entertainment in their childhood, but later in adulthood, it can be jobs and other opportunities.
However, with other people, I believe that decision making is an essential ability for children to develop to succeed in life. By being motivated and assisted to make their own decisions with small matters when they are at a young age, children would establish confidence in themselves and their choices when it comes to bigger and more influential matters later in life, for instance, career and buying houses. Additionally, it could help children to be more responsible for their decisions when they are the one to make them. This is also a good attribute to possess.
In conclusion, it is clear that there could be some drawbacks for children to make decisions at a young age; nevertheless, I think it is of importance for them to do this because of enormous impacts decision making can have in their adult lives.
263 words
Top answer
It is often argued that whether letting children decide on daily matters as this seemingly will make them become selfish. (Your sentence was not grammatical. Incorrect cause structure) In my opinion, it is crucial for children to develop decisio n m aking (hyphenated word) skill , (wrong form) especially on issues that impact on them.
- It is often argued that whether letting children decide on daily matters as this seemingly will make them become selfish.
- (Your sentence was not grammatical.
- Incorrect cause structure) In my opinion, it is crucial for children to develop decisio n m aking (hyphenated word) skill , (wrong form) especially on issues that impact on them.
- Admittedly, there are some possible downsides of encouraging children to choose what they want.
- One of these is this can lead to / result in provoke self-centeredness because they would grow up with a habit of thinking about their own desires, not of others.
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It is often argued that whether letting children decide on daily matters as this seemingly will make them become selfish. (Your sentence was not grammatical. Incorrect cause structure) In my opinion, it is crucial for children to develop decision making (hyphenated word)
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