IELTS TASK 2: Dear teachers, could you please review and give some comments on my task. Thank you
Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The idea that, some people's success is attributable mostly to the fortune instead of their own hard work. However, I totally disagree with this idea.
From my perspective, only determined and industrious people are entitled to feel the sense of achievement. Firstly, most of genius people around the world with significantly valuable contributions to social are considered to be really hard-working and efficient ones. For example, Steve Job, who spent thousands hours coding and conducting business in various ways, has built up Apple, one of the most Technology-giants, together with MacOS operating system that we use commonly nowadays . Another typical case of success through determination is Nick Vujicic, a motivational speaker suffered from a rare disorder resulting in the lack of his four limbs. In fact, Nick has not only amazingly achieved bachelor degree with double major which is Accountancy and Financial but he also had a truly happy family. On top of that, he now travels around the world and inspires people as a motivational speaker.
On the other hand, by contrast, I would argue that luck only does carry an insignificant element to attain one's goal. Firstly, people cannot only over-dependent on the destiny to succeed. For example, without working flat out for the forthcoming exams, students definitely cannot pass those with flying colours and even be doomed to failure. Another reason is that the serendipity only contribute to short-term fortune. Taking lottery as a good example, it is blindingly obvious that people do not require anything to gain such achievement. In addition, they can hardly win a lottery for second time according to the apparent reality and mathematical probability theories.
In conclusion, for those reasons above, I strongly argue with the idea that in order to achieve great objectives, one must be extremely determined and persistently hard-working to follow his or her passions till the end.
Top answer
I have corrected my introduction. The idea that, some people's success is attributable mostly to the fortune instead of their own hard work, remains sources of controversy. However, I totally disagree with this idea.
- I have corrected my introduction.
- The idea that, some people's success is attributable mostly to the fortune instead of their own hard work, remains sources of controversy.
- However, I totally disagree with this idea.
- From my perspective, only determined and industrious people are entitled to feel the sense of achievement.
- Firstly, most of genius people around the world with significantly valuable contributions to social are considered to be really hard-working and efficient ones.
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I have corrected my introduction.
The idea that, some people's success is attributable mostly to the fortune instead of their own hard work, remains sources of controversy. However, I totally disagree with this idea.
From my perspective, only determined and industrious people are entitled to feel the sense of achievement. Firstly, most of genius people around the world with signifi
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