IELTS TASK 2-CRIMES

Please help me by giving me some feedback and IELTS band score. Thank you very much.

THE TOPIC:

In many countries imprisonment is the most common solution to crimes. However, some people believe that better education will be a more effective solution. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

THE ESSAY:

Nowadays, many countries, especially developing countries have been facing the ever-increasing crime rates. In the world, there are a lot of nations using imprisonment sentences as the main deterrence. Nevertheless, I agree with the idea that education can make more significant contributions to decrease in the number of criminals.

Almost countries adopt prison punishment to reduce numbers of lawbreakers because of its’ undoubtable benefits. Firstly, the prison can be considered as the most effective method to ensure the safety of society. For example, if serious criminals such as robbers, rapists are sent to jails, they will not have chances to make an attack on their victims and potential victims. Secondly, using the prison punishment can minimize several negative impacts of other punishments like capital punishment. While the death penalty can cause consequences including convicting, executing wrongly and creating a violent culture, life punishment can avoid these server results.

However, I argue that the most helpful method is to improve the law-related educational programs. One of the advantages which except for education, other punishments will never have is to prevent people from committing crimes especially juvenile crimes before they have a criminal thought. It is obvious that educated about the law well, the young generation can know their behaviors to be legal or illegal. As a result, the number of offenders would fall considerably. Furthermore, if in society, all citizens have an awareness of the law and comply with the law, the community will become more civilized and safer.

In conclusion. Although a large number of countries use imprisonment to deal with crimes, I think that education is more effective and should be encouraged.