[IELTS Task 2 Correction] Cycling needs to be encourage

Hello, everyone. I have just finished a piece of writing for an IELTS Task 2 Writing. I hope to receive some critics/comments from you guys about the outline/points of view I used for the piece. Much thanks in advance

18/06/2016:

Cycling is more environmentally friendly than other forms of transport. Why is it not popular in many places and how to increase its popularity?

There is a shred of evidence that cycling has shown its advantage in various environmental aspects as a means of transportation. However, its presence hasn’t yet been appreciated by the majority, which solutions are being debated in this piece of writing.

Firstly, it is due to the comparatively protracted speed that leaves bicycles in the state of ignorance. In an era where time compounds over pace, the residents will definitely choose the economical, time-saving public transport rather than biking. Next up, despite the innovations, cycling seems to be an inapplicable choice for rugged terrains and other topographies. As an alternative, the manipulation of all-terrain car or motorcycle will simply solve the issue. Of the utmost importance, functioning a bike results in an overwhelming amount of sweat. This symptom strongly discourages the appliance of cycling in everyday life, since clothes changing is an unavoidable, unwanted consequence (especially among the officers and blue-collar workers)

However, thanks to the outweighing advantages of cycling, we owe it some policies to encourage a more spreading popularity. For instance, the governments can promote both of the health and environmental benefits of cycling to increase the usages of bicycles. Furthermore, the residents would be willing to engage in public biking if there were charge-free parking areas and low rental fees designed exclusively for them. More interestingly, we could advocate cycling as an approach to a slow-pace, less hasty lifestyle. In a century where stress dominates, this is not only used as a remedy but also a navigation to shape the society’s behavior.

In a nutshell, in spite of the potencies, public cycling still falls out with the demand for a broader usage. Once the users are aware of the endless benefits (through the seamless efforts by the governments), the target will be easier to achieve.