Ielts task 2: Computer

Question

Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.The advent of computers has been considered to be an integral milestone for development of human civilization. Some people affirm that the widespread applying computers to a large number of fields is indispensable. This essay will analyze paramount importance of this practice.Computers have shown their advantages throughout a variety of domains. Education, for instance, has been witnessed to be benefited significantly since computers were applied to studying and teaching Computers as well as Internet have been effectively taken advantage of when the world underwent Covid 19 epidemic. Public was afraid that virus would thwart studying process. However, distance learning was immediately utilized to continue students' studying. In addition, computer systems aid employers manage their work and control a huge amount of staff.In terms of amusement, various sorts of game have appeared, creating more choices for entertaining. Furthermore, computers play roles as foundation, sparking ideas of advance technologies such as 3D, virtual reality or artificial intelligence, contributing to huge changes in people's recreational activities.Nevertheless, it is patently obvious that there are some downsides. Relying on computers drives human lazier. Instead of enjoying outdoor activities, they spend hours and hours playing game or watching videos. In addition to diminishing physical activities, being addicted to computers among individuals raises a concern over losing social connection. Most importantly, computer should be deemed to be supportive tool in order to enhance productivity and make life easier rather than displace human's role.In short, exploiting computer's potential properly could provide benefits. Detrimental effects should be recognized so that computer could be used in favor of society.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

You will get a very poor score for task completion because you wrote an "advantages/disadvantages" essay. But this Task 2 essay topic is not an advantages / disadvantages essay.

Since you did not follow the task instructions, you will get a bad mark. All your writing is off-topic.

You must argue why computers are more important than television, radio, airplanes, nuclear power, air conditioning, cell phones, labor-saving home appliances, automobiles, plastic, the internet, the transistor, GPS navigation, and all the other inventions that have come out in the past 100 years. Think about all these inventions. Is the computer the most significant?

Also, I have highlighted some vocabulary and phrasing problems. I did not mark everything because you should throw this essay away and write a new one.

The ~~advent of~~ invention of the computers has been considered to be a~~n integral~~ milestone ~~for~~ in the development of industrialization at a global scale. ~~human civilization.~~ (That does not make sense.) Some people affirm that the widespread applying computers to a large number of fields is indispensable. ~~This essay will analyze paramount importance of this practice.~~

That does not make sense. And it is off-topic. Do not mention your essay. Write a thesis statement. This is the main point of your essay. Your thesis statement must answer the essay prompt: To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?|
Your answer must have an adverb of extent. Do you know these adverbs?

Computers have shown their advantages (Off topic) throughout a variety of domains. (wrong word) Education, for instance, has been witnessed (wrong word) to be benefited significantly since computers were applied to studying and teaching Computers as well as Internet have been effectively taken advantage of when the world underwent Covid 19 epidemic. Public was afraid that virus would thwart studying process. However, distance learning was immediately utilized to continue students' studying. (The internet is not the same as a computer. ) In addition, computer systems aid employers manage their work and control a huge (Huge is a juvenile word. Avoid it in formal essays.) amount of staff.
In terms of amusement, various sorts of game have appeared, creating more choices for entertaining. Furthermore, computers play roles as foundation, sparking ideas of advance technologies such as 3D, virtual reality or artificial intelligence, contributing to huge changes in people's recreational activities.
Nevertheless, it is patently obvious that there are some downsides. (off topic) Relying on computers drives human lazier. Instead of enjoying outdoor activities, they spend hours and hours playing game or watching videos. In addition to diminishing physical activities, being addicted to computers among individuals raises a concern over losing social connection.
Most importantly, computer should be deemed to be supportive tool in order to enhance productivity and make life easier rather than displace human's role.
In short, exploiting computer's potential properly could provide benefits. Detrimental effects should be recognized so that computer could be used in favor of society.

Ielts task 2: Computer

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