Ielts task 2

Would you kindly check my essay?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough.

What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

In some part of the world, children are repeatedly told they can gain anything with enough hard work. In my view, there is benefit of having motivation and drawback including mental problems for this issue.

According to the reason of advantage for succeeding children vie doing hard work, it is beneficial due to giving motivation. In fact, motivation can help them not to get tired and keep going strong, thus leading to future success, although this might be small. My uncle can be cited as a significant example. He has been able to be successful in his life because he received the message from his childhood that he can achieve his dreams with a lot of effort and be successful.

However, there are psychological problems in encouraging children to work hard to achieve success. Due to the fact that if children try hard but can not achieve the success they want in the future, they will suffer from frustration and depression. They also experience a lot of stress throughout their lives that even if they succeed, they will not be able to enjoy this success and will still be depressed. In my city, for instance, there are some people who are successful, while they are depress Because during their lives, they only thought about the end of work and success and did not enjoy the path of life.

All in all, in my outlook while giving this message to children that they can be successful via hard working may have the advantage of motivation; however, it brings disadvantage including mental problems.