IELTS TASK 2

Please correct it for me and give me a score I can get with this performance.

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Some people think that liking your job is more important than how much money you earn while others think that your salary is more important than how much you like your job. Compare the two views and give your opinion.
Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
You should write at least 250 words.

Some people believe that having a job that you like is more essential than the amount of money you earn whilst others think that payment of your job plays more a critical role than your satisfaction about your occupation. Personally, I think that job satisfaction must be more important than money.

It is undeniable that the salary is essential in order for employees to survive and a great proportion of people rely on the money they earn from their jobs. Most of the job-holders play for their housing, utility bills, food and so on from the amount of money that they get from their employers. It is evident that if employees feel them is not paid enough, they will start finding another job from new companies with a higher salary. So, I have doubt that without enough payment for workers, anyone would pursue their careers.

On the other hand, some individuals give preference to job satisfaction over the salary. I strongly believe that job satisfaction which includes work-life balance, vacation, quality work, and many more parameters will make people working with efficiency and productivity. For example, doctors who work in a pressure place where a small mistake can be caused big problems always feel stress but if they truly have a passion for their career, they will go through this stress easily and try their best they can. Thus, job satisfaction could be considered as a meaningful factor while choosing a job.

In conclusion, I don’t believe that earning is the main features to take into consideration while choosing a career, job satisfaction should be the first factor to consider while selecting an occupation, without it, we will not happy with our roles and we can’t grow up with our career path.