IELTS Task 1 Writing

Question

HiPlease review this essay for me.The line graphs compare the incidents of robbery, car theft, and burglary in Manchester city center from 2003 to 2012. Overall, burglary incidents were the highest in the city in the initial years but they dropped below those of car theft in 2012. Robbery incidents were the least of the three in the entire period. In detail, from 2003 to 2012, while there were around 20, 000 incidents of burglary, there were 23,000 incidents of car theft. Incidents of burglary from a little less than 3500 in 2003, reached 3800 in 2004. However, it gradually reduced to 1000 in 2008 before a slight increase the following year. In 2012, it was a little less than 1500. And, as for the car robbery, from around 2300 incidents in 2003, without any significant increase or decrease till 2009 it reached 2800 in 2012. Additionally, robbery incidents which were a little over 500 in 2003 touched almost 1000 in 2005 and remained around 500 the entire remaining period.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

The instructions make no sense.
Area of a city would refer to e.g. the central business district, the inner city residential area, and the suburbs.

It is not a chart.

There are different types of charts:

- pie chart
- bar chart
- flow chart
- organization chart
- eye chart
- Gantt chart

But this is not any of those!

AlpheccaStars · Answer

This is one figure. It is a line graph. The line graph has three curves.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

The line graphs compare the incidents of robbery, car theft, and burglary in Manchester city center from 2003 to 2012.

Overall, burglary incidents were the highest in the city in the initial years but they dropped below those of car theft in 2012. Robbery incidents were the ~~least~~ fewest during ~~of the three~~ in the entire period.

In detail, ~~from 2003 to 2012~~, over the entire decade, while there were a total around 20, 000 incidents of burglary, there were 23,000 incidents of car theft. Incidents of burglary from a little less than 3500 in 2003, (You abruptly switched from the total over the decade to per annum data. You did not give a total for Robbery. This is very disconcerting and will cost you tons of points for coherence. I would not sum over the period. That is not meaningful to the people of Manchester. What is much more important is the total of crime in each year, and the past compared to the present.) ~~reached~~ peaked at 3800 in 2004. However, it gradually reduced to 1000 in 2008 before a slight increase the following year. In 2012, it was a little less than 1500. And, as for the car robbery, from around 2300 incidents in 2003, without any significant increase or decrease till 2009 it reached 2800 in 2012. Additionally, robbery incidents ~~which~~ were a little over 500 in 2003 ~~touched~~ peaked at almost 1000 in 2005 and remained around 500 the remainder of the ~~entire remaining~~ period.

It is not very good to describe each curve at every point. Pick out some overall comparisons.

IELTS Task 1 Writing

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