Ielts Task 1 topic: "The charts below show the number of Japanese tourists traveling abroad between 1985 and 1995 and Australia's share of the Japanese tourist market." Can you please fix my grama and help me to improve my english writing bc i'm...
The graphs below describe the number of Japanese people traveling oversea from 1985 to 1995 and the market share of Australia in Japanese tourism.
According to the charts, there is an upward trend in the number of Japanese tourists traveling abroad and Australia held a large share in Japanese tourist market in over 10 years.
From 1985 to 1990, the number of Japanese travelers globally increased dramatically from about 5 millions to roughly 11 millions before dipping to just over 10 millions in the next year. There was a slight growth from 10 millions to approximately 12 millions in the number of Japanese tourists traveling abroad between 1992 to 1993, followed by a rapid rise to just under 16 millions from 1994 to the end of the period. On the other hand, the proportion of Japanese people traveling to Australia rose considerably from about 2% to 5% between 1985 and 1989. The percentage of Australia's share of the Japanese tourist market experienced a slight decline from 1989 to 1990 before going up gradually to just over 6% in 1994. However, at the end of the period, the figure decreased moderately to 6 millions.
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Here are my suggestions: The graphs below describe the number of Japanese people traveling oversea s from 1985 to 1995 and as well as the Australia's market share of this Australia in Japanese tourism. ] an upward trend in the number of Japanese tourists traveling abroad . and Australia held a large share in of the Japanese tourist market for more than in over 10 years.
- Here are my suggestions: The graphs below describe the number of Japanese people traveling oversea s from 1985 to 1995 and as well as the Australia's market share of this Australia in Japanese tourism.
- ] an upward trend in the number of Japanese tourists traveling abroad .
- and Australia held a large share in of the Japanese tourist market for more than in over 10 years.
- From 1985 to 1990, the number of Japanese travelers globally [ OR: Japanese traveling globally ] increased dramatically from about 5 million[ s] to roughly 11 million[ s ] before dipping to just over 10 million[ s ] in the next year.
- There was a slight growth from 10 million[ s ] to approximately 12 million[ s ] in the number of Japanese tourists traveling abroad between 1992 to 1993 .
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Here are my suggestions:
The graphs below describe the number of Japanese people traveling overseas from 1985 to 1995 and as well as the Australia's market share of this Australia in Japanese tourism.
According to the charts, there is [was?] an upward trend in the number of Japanese tourists traveling abroad
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