[ielts task 1] please help my with my writing!

Question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of people living alone in five different age groups in the USA between 1850 and 2000.The bar chart demonstrates the number of American citizens living separately by percentage in 5 age groups from 17 to 64 during a period of 150 years starting from 1850.Overall, the proportion of the elderly living by themselves started to increase sharply in the 1950s. Besides, few American inhabitants of all age groups lived alone from 1850 to 1990.No figure was recorded in the proportion of people aged from 17 to 26 living alone between 1850 and 1990. This figure stood at nearly 2% in 1950 before it rose to 5% five years later. Likewise, at the beginning of the given period, age group 27-36 showed no figure. The percentage of people aged from 27 to 36 then climbed and peaked 8% in 2000, which was fourfold its figure a century ago.In 1850, the proportion of age group 37-46 was equal to that of age group 47-54 with 2.5%. The figure for both age groups went up with the figure of age group 47-54 was 6% higher than that of age group 37-46 in 2000. During the given period, the proportion of age group 55-64 rocketed with a peak of 17% in the final year.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

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The bar chart below shows the percentage of people living alone in five different age groups in the USA between 1850 and 2000.

The bar chart ~~demonstrates~~ shows the number (The chart does not plot numbers. Numbers would be values like 25,000 or 120,000. ) of American citizens living ~~separately~~ alone by percentage in 5 five age groups from 17 to 64 during a the period of 150 years starting from 1850.

Overall, the proportion of the elderly (What age group is that? You have not specified the five age groups for the reader. ) living by themselves started to increase sharply in the 1950s. (Does the chart show the years 1951, 1952, 1953, 1954, 1955...? Those years are the 1950's.) Besides, few American inhabitants (wrong word) of all age groups lived alone from 1850 to 1990. (Is that year on the chart?)

No figure was recorded (Did they forget it?) in the proportion of people aged from 17 to 26 living alone between 1850 and 1990. This figure (wrong word - percentage) stood at nearly 2% in 1950 before it rose to 5% five years later. Likewise, at the beginning of the given period, age group 27-36 showed no figure. The percentage of people aged from 27 to 36 then climbed and peaked at 8% (wrong word. There are no peaks on the chart.) in 2000, which was fourfold its figure a century ago.

In 1850, the proportion of age group 37-46 was equal to that of age group 47-54 with 2.5%. The figure for both age groups went up with the figure of age group 47-54 was 6% higher (ungrammatical) than that of age group 37-46 in 2000. During the given period, the proportion of age group 55-64 rocketed with a peak (wrong word. There are no peaks on the chart.) of 17% in the final year.

[ielts task 1] please help my with my writing!

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