IELTS task 1. Please help me to check it. Thanks a lot.

Question

Topic: The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004.

The line chart illustrates how chicken, beef, lamb and fish are used in a western country from 1979 to 2004.

Overall, it can be seen that chicken had an upward trend most while beef had a downward trend best over the period of 25 years.

Starting at over 200 grams in 1979, the amount of beef decreased suddenly but it increased again afterward. These kind of meat saw a significant fall to approximately 100 grams in the last year. On the other hand, the amount of fish stayed stable over the whole time with roughly 50 grams.

In 1979, the figures for both chicken and lamb the same value at 150 grams. From 1979 to 2004, the amount of chicken witnessed a gradual rise and reached a peak at 250 grams in the final year. Meanwhile, the opposite was true for lamb with a continual decrease to roughly 60 grams in 2004.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

The line chart (wrong noun. Charts are pie charts and bar charts.) illustrates how chicken, beef, lamb and fish are used (Incorrect verb. We use a cell phone. We use tools. We use pencils and pens to write.) in a western country from 1979 to 2004. (Your description is not complete. You need at least one more sentence.)

Overall, ~~it can be seen that~~ (Avoid these passive-it clauses. They do not describe the figure.) chicken had an upward trend ~~most~~ while beef had a downward trend ~~best~~ over the period of 25 years.

Starting at over 200 grams in 1979, the amount of beef decreased suddenly but it increased again afterward. These kind (bad grammar) of meat saw a significant fall to approximately 100 grams in the last year. On the other hand, the amount of fish consumed stayed stable over the whole time at ~~with~~ roughly 50 grams.

In 1979, ~~the figures for~~ both chicken and lamb consumption had the same value at 150 grams. From 1979 to 2004, the amount of chicken witnessed (Avoid the anthropomorphic verbs "see", "witness" and "experience" in Task 1. People witness something. Chicken meat does not witness or see anything. ) a gradual rise and reached a peak (incorrect noun.) at 250 grams in the final year. Meanwhile, the opposite was true for lamb with a continual decrease to roughly 60 grams in 2004.

Recommendations for Task 1:

1. Use a calculator in Task 1 to compute totals, averages, percent change, rates of change, and other significant comparisons. For example, total the amounts in 1974 and compare with 2004. People ate 20% less meat and fish in 2004 than they did in 1974. Also, the proportion of chicken in this part of their diet more than doubled (36% to 75%).

2. Avoid the word "figure" to mean a value or number. In this context, "figure" normally refers to a diagram, chart or table.

3. Avoid using synonyms which have slightly different meanings. The goal in Task 1 is to precisely describe a mathematical or scientific figure. Precision and accuracy, not eloquence, is the objective.

4. Use quantitative expressions rather than qualitative expressions.

5. Learn the vocabulary words for the shapes of curves so you can describe the data on a line graph.

Peak: A peak is a high value with lower values on each side. This graph show peaks in the ratio of the price of gold to shares on the US stock market:

This bar chart also shows a peak in home ownership:

This graph has no peak, because the values will probably continue to rise:

Here is a model essay for this task:

Model Essay:

The line graph compares the amounts of beef, chicken, lamb and fish that people in a European country ate on a weekly basis during a specific 25-year period, 1979 to 2004. The units of measure are grams (of meat) per person per week. The values in the graph range from a low of about 50 to a high of 250.

There was more variation in the amounts of meat (chicken, beef, or lamb) that people ate than in the amount of fish that they ate. People tended to eat the same amount of fish per week, but it decreased slightly over the period, from a little over 50 grams in 1979, to a bit under that value in 2004.

The values for chicken and lamb consumption started out in 1979 as being nearly the same, (150 grams) but their data had opposite trends; the data for chicken showed an increase and lamb a decrease. The ending values were substantially different: 250 (chicken) and about 60 (lamb). Except for the first two or three years, people ate more chicken than lamb.

Like lamb, the trend line for beef consumption was negative (decreasing). Starting at about 220 in 1979, the values peaked and plateaued from 1980 to 1987 at about 230, and then declined to a final value of about 100 at the end of the period. The amount of beef and chicken consumed per week was about the same during the three-year period from 1988 to 1991 at about 200 grams.

The total amount of meat and fish eaten per week was 20% lower at the end of the period than at the beginning (570 versus 450 grams), but the proportion of chicken in the diet nearly doubled, from 36% (220/570) in 1979 to over 75% (250/450) in 2004.

IELTS task 1. Please help me to check it. Thanks a lot.

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