IELTS task 1. Please check my grammar!

Question

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The maps below show the village of Stokeford in 1930 and 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

» Write at least 150 words.

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My essay:

The maps compare the differences in the construction of a village in Stokeford between the year 1930 and 2010.

Overall, there were more houses which were built after 80 years, especially on the south side of this area. Furthermore, the farmlands (one was near the primary school and the other was next to the Stoke River) were replaced with the residential areas.

In 1930, on the left side of the main road, shops, post office, and a number of houses were located along the street. However, in 2010, these shops were removed to construct a new side street, which led to more houses being built. Furthermore, there was a square roundabout on the left side of the post office, which was a new residential area in 2010.

On the other side of the road, where the farmland taken place in 1930, a new small street connecting the main road with 8 more new homes. The nearby primary school was updated with two new buildings, and the area of large houses with their front garden was renovated into the retirement house.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

The maps compare the differences in ~~the construction of~~ a village in named Stokeford between the years 1930 and 2010.

Overall, there were more houses which were built after 80 years, (wrong expression. This means that the houses were built in 2010 or later. The map does not show any years after 2010.) especially on the south side ~~of this are~~a. Furthermore, the farmlands (one was near the primary school and the other was next to ~~the~~ River Stoke ~~River~~) were ~~replaced~~ developed for housing and are ~~with the~~ residential areas.

In 1930, on the left side (Use compass directions, not left-right-top-bottom) of the main road, shops, post office, and a number of houses were located along the street. However, in 2010, (You have no evidence that the construction was in 2010. It could have been in 1934 or 1965.) these shops were removed to construct a new side street, which led to more houses being built. Furthermore, there was a ~~square~~ roundabout (Wrong word. A roundabout is an intersection) on the left side of the post office, which was a new residential area in 2010.

On the other side of the road, where the farmland taken place (Wrong verb phrase "take place" is for events like concerts or sports games.) ) in 1930, a new small street connecting the main road with 8 (write out small numbers) eight ~~more~~ new homes. The nearby primary school was updated with two new buildings, and the area of large houses with their front garden was r~~enovated into the~~ converted into a retirement home / facility. ~~house~~ (missing punctuation)

Example essay:

The maps of the village of Stokeford as it was in 1930 and in 2010 depict the many changes that occurred between these two years.

Overall, the village grew substantially in size and population and became more residential in character. The primary school was enlarged, its large country home with gardens was converted into a retirement home, and the shops were replaced by housing.

In 1930, Stokeford was a traditional small village surrounded by farmland, bounded on the west side by River Stoke. In the center was a post office, shops and houses along the main road, which runs north and south parallel to the river. Between 1930 and 2010, the town expanded considerably. New residential streets were built connecting to the main road. Housing developments were built on the farmland to the east and south of the center and also along the shores of the river. Stokeford in 2010 has no shops in its center. The only feature that was unchanged was the post office on the west side of the main road.

IELTS task 1. Please check my grammar!

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