IELTS task 1. Please check my grammar

Question

My essay:The diagram illustrates how the pineapples are grown and made into several products.Overall, the process of growing pineapples takes a year to grow. Furthermore, there are five stages in the process of making products from pineapples due to its size, starting with washing out the dirt from the outside of pineapples and ending with the final products ready to be used or delivered.To begin with the growing process, the ideal temperature to grow this type of fruit is from 28oC to 30oC. The farmer plants crop with 26 cm of distance between each plant. Next, after seven months when the pineapples are big enough, chemicals is sprayed onto their surface. Five months later, the pineapples are weighted at 2 kg and 30 cm tall, which are ready to make products.In the manufacturing process, the pineapples of all size are washed in water before recategorizing into three different stages depending of its size. With the smallest and middle size pineapples, people cut the top of this fruit and peel its skin out. After that, the smaller one is put into the extractor to produce pineapples juice, while the middle size pineapple is cut into small pieces before being put into can. On the other hand, the biggest size pineapples are waxed and made into cakes, which are later transferred to other destinations for usage.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

You wrote 225 words and the minimum is. 150.

You will not lose points for writing more; however, longer essays generally do not get high scores. There are many reasons.

First, the longer the essay, the more chances you have to make errors, and you will lose points for these errors.
Second, your writing may be repetitious and wordy. This will cost you points.
Third, in Task 1, you will be writing about everything indiscriminately instead of picking out the main features. The examiners will deduct points if you do not follow the instructions.
Fourth, you will take a lot of time writing, and not have time left over to proofread your essay. You will miss the silly mistakes, and that lowers your score.
Fifth, you will not have enough time to spend on Task 2, and get a lower score there. Task 2 counts twice as much as Task 1 on the final score.

Example opening:

The flow chart depicts two main stages in producing products from pineapples. The first is farming, where the small fruits are planted, cared for for about a year, and then harvested. The second shows three processes of converting the harvested fruits into juice, canned fruit and fresh fruit.

The diagram illustrates how ~~the~~ pineapples are grown and made into juice, canned fruit and fresh fruit. ~~several products.~~

Overall, ~~the process of growing~~ (Processes do not grow. Pineapples grow naturally.) pineapples take a year to grow to a size of about 30 cm high.. Furthermore, (wrong transition word) there are five stages in the process of making products from pineapples due to its size, (wrong expression The process is not caused by the size of the fruit.) starting with washing out (wrong phrasal verb) the dirt from the outside of pineapples and ending with the final products ~~ready to be used or delivered~~.

~~To begin with the growing process,~~ the ideal temperature to grow this type of fruit is from 28oC to 30oC. The farmer plants crop (wrong expression) with 26 cm of distance between each plant. Next, after seven months when the pineapples are big enough, chemicals is sprayed onto their surface. (That is incorrect. Chemicals, mainly fertilizers are added to the soil five months before harvest.) Five months later, the pineapples are weighted (wrong expression) at 2 kg and 30 cm tall, which are ready to make products. (wrong expression)

Example description of the farming of pineapples:

Pineapples are grown in sunny climates which have a temperature between 28 and 30 degrees centigrade. Small seedlings are planted about 26 cm apart and left to grow for seven months. Chemicals, such as fertilizer and insecticides, are applied. Five months later, the fruits, about 30 cm tall and weighing about 2 kg, are large enough to be picked.

In the manufacturing process, the pineapples of all sizes are washed in water before ~~recategorizing~~ being separated into three groups according to size. ~~nto three different stages depending of its size~~. With the smallest and ~~middle~~ medium-sized size pineapples, people cut the top of this fruit and peel its skin out. (wrong expression) After that, the smaller one (wrong expression. There is more than one pineapple.) is put into the extractor to produce pineapples (wrong form) juice, while the middle size pineapple (wrong expression) is cut into small pieces before being put into can. (wrong expression) On the other hand, (wrong transition usage) the largest ~~biggest size~~ pineapples are waxed and made into cakes, (wrong, they are packed into containers) which are shipped internationally to stores and consumers. ~~later transferred to other destinations for usage.~~

Example essay: (180 words)

The flow chart depicts how pineapple products are produced. The first part shows farming, where the small fruits are planted, grown for about a year, and then harvested. The next shows three processes of converting the harvested fruits into juice, canned fruit and fresh fruit.

Pineapples are grown in sunny climates with temperatures between 28 and 30 degrees centigrade. Small seedlings are planted about 26 cm apart and left to grow for seven months. Chemicals, perhaps fertilizer and insecticides, are applied. Five months later, the plants, about 30 cm tall and weighing about 2 kg, are large enough to be picked.

After harvest, the fruits are washed and graded into small, medium and large sizes. The smaller ones are used to make juice, the medium-sized ones are canned, and the largest are shipped whole as fresh produce. The small and mid-sized fruits are peeled and processed whereas the largest are waxed and put into boxes for shipment. The smallest are used to extract pineapple juice but the mid-sized fruit is put into cans of slices or chunks of fruit.

IELTS task 1. Please check my grammar

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