IELTS task 1 PLEASE CHECK MY ESSAY

Question

The table graph shows the average distance in miles traveled per person per years by modes of travel in England between 1985 and 2000.

Overall, the average distance by engine models was higher than physical vehicles for over 15 years. Cars experienced by far the most popular in the average distance during the period.

It is clear that an English person traveled totally 4,740 miles in 1985 and 6.474 miles in 2000. Most people used cars to moving, with 3,199 miles in 1985, and had a significant increase to 4806 in 2000. By contrast, the amount of average distance traveled by walking and bicycle slightly fell, while that of local buses dramatically rose by 155 miles.

There was a crucial increase in the amount traveled by long-distance buses and train, with nearly 100 miles and 366 miles in 2000. Meanwhile, the figures for traveling by taxies and other models went up, with sequentially 42 miles and 585 miles in 2000.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

The table graph (There is no such thing as a table graph.) shows the average distance in miles traveled per person per years (wrong form) by modes of travel in England between (wrong word) 1985 and 2000. (How many modes of travel are listed?)

For data in two columns, X and Y, say

.. allows a comparison between X and Y.
... shows the change (difference) between X and Y.
...shows information in the years X and Y

But

For data in many columns, say

.. shows information between the years 2000 and 2004 = you have data for 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003 and 2004.

Overall, the average distance by engine models (An engine model can be based on the number of cylinders. Small engines have only one cylinder. Large high-powered luxury cars can have 16. But this is not listed in the table at all.) was higher than physical vehicles (All vehicles are physical entities. They are not imaginary.) for over 15 years. Cars experienced (Do cars have experiences? I don't think so. ) by far the most popular (missing word. Popular is an adjective. You must have a noun after it.) in the average distance during the period.

~~It is clear that~~ (Delete that. "clear" is your opinion. It does not describe the information.) an English person traveled totally (wrong form) 4,740 miles in 1985 and 6.474 miles in 2000. Most people used cars to moving, (wrong word) with 3,199 miles in 1985, and had a significant increase to 4806 in 2000. By contrast, the ~~amount of~~ average distance traveled by walking and bicycle slightly fell, while that of local buses ~~dramatically~~ rose (Are you sure?) by 155 miles.

(Be consistent in using thousands markers. You used a dot, a comma, and none - all in the same paragraph.)

There was an ~~crucial~~ increase in the amount traveled by long-distance buses and train,(wrong form) with nearly 100 miles and 366 miles in 2000. Meanwhile, the figures (wrong word) for traveling by taxies and other models (wrong word) went up, with sequentially (wrong word) 42 miles and 585 miles in 2000.

IELTS task 1 PLEASE CHECK MY ESSAY

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