IELTS task 1 PLEASE CHECK MY ESSAY

Question

The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The graph illustrates the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country during the 25 years from 1979 to 2004.

Overall, the amount of beef, lamb, and fish had a dramatic decrease throughout this period, whereas chicken had a fluctuating increase. Fish was the least commonly used food in the European country during this time.

Strikingly, there was a negative correlation between chicken and beef which were consumed. The figure for beef started at about 220 grams per person per week, it was the highest value in the set data in 1979, but then significant fell about 50 %, at about 100 grams in 2004. In contrast, standing at nearly 150 grams in 1979 and dramatic rose, surpassing consumption of beef in 1989, and ended at about 250 grams in 2004.

Meanwhile, the consumption of lamb and fish followed a similar trend throughout the period. The amount of Fish started at exactly 150 grams and then declined nearly a half in the remainder of the period, narrowing the gap between fish and lamb, at about 75 grams. Simultaneously, the last figure had a slight drop from over 50 to roughly 40 grams in 2004, becoming the lowest value.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

The line graph illustrates plots/gives/ shows the consumption of fish and three different kinds of meat (Beef, Lamb and Chicken) in a European country during the 25 years from 1979 to 2004. The units of measurement are grams per person per week.

Illustrate means to make a drawing or picture. It is fine for a map, or other type of drawing which has a picture of different features.

For Task 1, make a list of all the different noun phrases in the instructions and figure. Use these phrases to write the first paragraph. Do not include any data values. Here is the list for this exercise. Include all of the most important phrases. You might need more than one sentence.

consumption
European country
time period: 25 years, 1979-2004
X-Axis: units: 5-year intervals
chicken, beef, lamb, chicken
Y-axis units: grams per person per week (per person = per capita)

Note: If you specify the units of measurement in the opening paragraph, it will save a lot of repetition in the body paragraphs, because you can just cite the data values. The reader knows the units because you already told them.

Overall, the amounts of beef, lamb, and fish consumed had a dramatic

(There are two problems with this word choice. First, it is emotive, and does not belong in a math/science context. Second, it is not true; the consumption of fish was about the same at the end as in the beginning. There was no "dramatic" decrease. Pay attention to the figure!!!)

decrease throughout this period, whereas chicken had a fluctuating ( "Fluctuation" has a very specific meaning. See the graphs below. Usually you use "variation" or "vary") "The consumption of chicken increased linearly, with some fluctuation.") increase. Fish was the least commonly used (We do not use food. We use tools, phones and computers. We eat food.) food in the European country during this time.

Strikingly, there was a negative correlation between chicken and beef ~~which were consumed~~. The amounts consumed ~~figure~~ (Avoid "figure" when referring to data values. A figure in a math/science context is a diagram, table or chart.) for beef started at about 220 ~~grams per person per week~~, (Another comma splice error! Study comma splice errors and avoid making them. http://www.chompchomp.com/terms/commasplice.htm)

it was the highest value ~~in the set data~~ (data set refers to all the values in the entire chart.) in 1979, but it ~~then significant~~ fell about 50 %, over the period, ending at about 100 grams in 2004. In contrast, standing at nearly 150 grams in 1979 and dramatic rose, surpassing consumption of beef in 1989, and ended at about 250 grams in 2004.

Meanwhile, the consumption of lamb and fish followed a similar trend throughout the period. The amount of Fish started at exactly 150 grams (Wrong. The is Lamb, not Fish!) and then declined nearly a half in the remainder of the period, narrowing the gap between fish and lamb, at about 75 grams. Simultaneously, the last figure (?? What is that "last category?) had a ~~slight~~ 10% drop from just / a little / barely / slightly over 50 (1000 is "over 50". You must use a qualifying adverb! ) to roughly 40 grams in 2004~~, becoming~~ the lowest value on the graph.

Vocabulary: Fluctuation

A fluctuation is a curve that shows deviations from an underlying trend. Fluctuations can be random or cyclical. There MUST be a trend for you to use the word "fluctuate." Otherwise use variation / vary. You will generally not see fluctuations on bar charts or in tables.

These graphs illustrate the concept of fluctuation.

IELTS task 1 PLEASE CHECK MY ESSAY

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