IELTS task 1 PLEASE CHECK MY ESSAY

Question

The graph below shows average carbon dioxide (CO2) emissions per person in the UK, Sweden, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph shows how much carbon dioxide a person released during 40 years from 1967 to 2007.

Overall, the amount of CO2 in the United Kingdom and Sweden suffered a significant decrease throughout the period. Whereas, the period brought a substantial increase to the amount of CO2 in Italy and Portugal.

It is can be seen that there were striking similarities between the amount of Co2 in the UK and Sweden. Standing at less than 11 metric tons in 1967, before dropping to nearly 9 metric tones in 2007 in the UK. Notably, there was a considerable increase from more than 8 to almost 11 metric tons, which ended up at 5 metric tons in 2007 in Sweden.

Meanwhile, it comes into attention that both the remainders follow similar trend throughout the period. Particular, standing at more than 4 metric tons in 1967, the amount of Co2 in Italy saw a dramatic rise by 3 metric tons from this time onwards. Simultaneously, the amount Co2 of Portugal which was released was lowest at more than 1 metric tons per person. Then, the remaining period brought a tremendous growth of nearly 5 metric tons to the amount of Co2 in 2007.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

You have made a good try at this challenging task. But there are many problems with your essay. They are very common problems for new writers.

You need to be more careful and precise. Describe the figure precisely and exactly, without emotional words Learn vocabulary words appropriate for math and science writing. They are quite different from words you use to argue your opinion (Task 2).

The graph shows how much carbon dioxide a person released during 40 years from 1967 to 2007.

I will paraphrase your first sentence:

The graph shows the amount of one person's exhalation of carbon dioxide over 40 years of their lifetime.

It is true when we breathe, we exhale carbon dioxide, but is that what is on the graph? Your first paragraph is incorrect and incomplete. It does not mention any countries or their names.

Overall, the amount of CO2 in the United Kingdom and Sweden suffered (Suffer is an emotional word. It means to be hurt. These emotive words do not belong in a math/science text.. It also implies that this decline was a bad thing to happen. ) a significant decrease throughout the period. Whereas, the period brought (Periods do not bring things.) a substantial increase to the amount of CO2 in Italy (This sounds like there were storage tanks of CO2 in Italy. It does not describe the graph correctly.) and Portugal.

~~It is can be seen that~~ (These words do not describe the graph. They are unnecessary.) There were striking similarities between the amount of Co2 in the UK and Sweden. (This sounds like there were storage tanks of CO2 in the countries.) Standing at less than 11 metric tons in 1967, before dropping to nearly 9 metric tones in 2007 in the UK. ~~Notably~~, there was a considerable increase from more than 8 (Be careful of "more than". 10 is more than 8 and so is 20) to almost 11 metric tons, which ended up at 5 metric tons in 2007 in Sweden.

Meanwhile, ~~it comes into attention that~~ (These words do not describe the graph. They are unnecessary.) both the remainders (Wrong word) follow a similar trend throughout the period. (You need to use the word: correlation. It is useful for comparing curves on line graphs.) Particular, standing at more than 4 metric tons in 1967, the amount of Co2 in Italy saw a dramatic rise by 3 metric tons from this time onwards. Simultaneously, the amount Co2 of Portugal which was released was lowest at more than 1 metric tons (Finally, you are correctly describing the data. But 100 metric tonnes is " more than 1 metric ton", and so is 345. "More than 1" has no upper limit.) per person. Then, the remaining period brought a tremendous growth (Again, "tremendous growth" is an emotive expression. You need to be objective and logical in Task 1. ) of nearly 5 metric tons to the amount of Co2 in 2007.

Nel0506 · Answer

Here is a gap-fill exercise for line graphs and the task 1 report. It has lists of words you should use for line graphs.

IELTS task 1 PLEASE CHECK MY ESSAY

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