IELTS TASK 1: PIE CHART (Industry contributions to the Turkey economy)

Question

The two pie charts compare how different industry sectors contributed to the economy of Turkey in terms of percentages in the year 2000 and 2016.

Overall, agriculture contributed the most to the economy, whereas the contribution of construction was the lowest among the industry sectors in 2000. In 2016, while Healthcare and Education made the largest contribution to the economy, the smallest economic segment was Finance, Business, and other services.

Construction accounted for 3% of the economy and had more than a threefold increase by 2016. Economic income from Manufacturing comprised 8% of the pie chart and had a slight growth of 4% in 2016. At the beginning of the period, trade, utilities, and transportation as well as finance, business, and other services made up 14% and 5% of the economy, respectively, and increased to 16% and 8% in 2016.

Agriculture generated 24% of economic income in 2000, which fell to only 14% in 2016. The government and leisure and hospitality sectors each constituted 12% and 17% of the economy, which decreased to 9% and 14%. Healthcare and education remained the same at 17% in both 2000 and 2016.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

The two pie charts compare ~~how different industry~~ (wrong word - Government is not an industry.) the percentage contributions of eight different sectors to Turkey's ~~contributed to the~~ economy ~~of Turkey in terms of percentages~~ in ~~the year~~ (wrong form - there is more than one year.) 2000 and 2016.

This is much better English - fewer words, simpler, and more informative:The two pie charts, 2000 and 2016, break down Turkey's economy into eight different sectors, with categories such as healthcare, agriculture and manufacturing.

Overall, in 2000, agriculture contributed the most, and construction the least to the economy. ~~whereas the contribution of~~ ~~construction was the lowest among the industry sectors in 2000.~~(Your writing is very wordy.) In 2016, ~~while~~ the largest was Healthcare and Education and the smallest, ~~made the largest contribution to the economy, the smallest economic segment was~~ Finance, Business, and other services.

Here are some better "main features:

Overall, the Turkish economy is quite diversified, with no sector contributing more than 24% in 2000 and 17% in 2016. Construction increased its share by the largest factor, mainly at the expense of agriculture, which shrank the most.

Construction, ~~accounted for~~ 3% in 2000,~~of the economy and~~ had more than a threefold increase. ~~by 2016~~. ~~Economic income from~~(wrong words. There is no income.) Manufacturing comprised 8% ~~of the pie chart~~(completely unnecessary. You already describe the figure as pie charts.) and had a ~~slight~~(50% is not "slight") 50% growth of 4% ~~in 2016.~~ ~~At the beginning of the period,~~ trade, utilities, and transportation as well as finance, business, and other services made up 14% and 5% of the economy, respectively, and increased to 16% and 8% in 2016.

Agriculture made up nearly a quarter, ~~generated~~ 24% ~~of economic income~~ in 2000, ~~which~~and fell to only 14% in 2016. The government and leisure and hospitality sectors each constituted 12% and 17% of the economy, which decreased to 9% and 14%. Healthcare and education remained the same at 17% ~~in both 2000 and 2016~~.

Your detail paragraph is not well organized and coherent. You need to group the sectors together in a logical way. Here, for example they are grouped into winners and losers.

Sample essay

The two pie charts, 2000 and 2016, break down Turkey's economy into eight different sectors, with categories such as healthcare, government, agriculture and manufacturing.

Overall, the Turkish economy is quite diversified, with no sector contributing more than 24% in 2000 and 17% in 2016. Construction increased its share by the largest factor, mainly at the expense of agriculture, which shrank the most.

In detail, of all eight sectors, four increased their share, three decreased and one remained the same. Of the four that gained, construction was the most notable, rising from 3% to 10%. Manufacturing and Finance (including business services) were relatively small sectors in 2000, 8% and 5% each, but increased about 50% to 12% and 8%, respectively. Of the sectors that lost ground, Agriculture stands out. It was nearly a quarter in 2000 and lost 10 percentage points to 14%. The other two losers were Leisure and Government. Leisure, which was tied for the second largest in 2000, fell from 17% to 14%. And Government went down from 12% to 9%. Healthcare, the largest sector in 2016 at 17%, did not change.

IELTS TASK 1: PIE CHART (Industry contributions to the Turkey economy)

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