Ielts task 1 ( Can I get my ielts writing score?) Thank you!!

The bar chart shows information about some recreational activities that children in Australia and New Zealand enjoy doing in 2007. As can be seen, children from these 2 countries tend to have sturdily different interests in these activities.

In terms of Australian youngsters, they preferred some outdoor activities. The most popular one was sports, which took up to 28% of the children. Going to the park was the second most loved, which shared 25%. Computer gamed and DVDs, which had the same percentage, took the third place (15%). Books, Art and craft were the least favorites, which only accounted for 10% and 7% respectively.

In contrast, children in New Zealand were likely to enjoy some indoor activities. Art and craft had the largest proportion, about 25%. In the second place, 18% of the kids had enthusiasm towards books and DVDs. Computer games were the third most popular as for Australian children (nearly 15%). Going to the park and sports were the 2 least popular (12%).

(Thank you so much for reading and correcting my essay)