IELTS Task 1 - Bar chart [1B_03]

Question

Task 1 - Bar chart - #03The charts show the percentage of income spent on food and other goods in 3 European countries from 1998 – 2008.The graphs present the percentages of expenditure for nourishment and other products in comparison to total income in France, Germany, and England in two separated years 1998 and 2008.Overall, albeit German citizens allotted the largest portion of their wages for these essentials in 1998, French people spent the most in 2008. It is also noticeable that people in three countries spent more money on all items over time.Taking a glance at foodstuffs, the allocated budget of the French for these commodities took up 40% in 2008, nearly three times as much as it was at the beginning. The German, conversely, added only 10% of their earnings to their spending. 10% was also the increase observed in England, though the amount spent here was far smaller than the others, at a maximum of 15%.Regarding other items, expenses paid by the German were the greatest, at approximately 17%, outspending the French and the British by 10% in 1998. Ten years later, there were apparent rises of around 30% in goods' expenditure in the former two countries, yet the opposite was true for German, where an 8% growth can be witnessed.Word count: 190 wordsPlease check my essay. Thank you.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

The graphs (How many and what kind?) present the percentages of expenditure for nourishment (not a good word) and other products in comparison to total income in France, Germany, and England in two ~~separated~~ years 1998 and 2008.

Suggested opening. This gives the reader a much clearer description of the figure.

The two bar charts, the first labelled "food" and the second "other goods", compare the percentage of their total income that people in France, Germany and England, spent in each of two separate years, 1998 and 2008.

Overall, albeit Germans ~~citizens~~ allotted the largest portion of their wages for these two categories ~~essentials~~ in 1998, the French ~~people~~ spent the most in 2008. It is also noticeable that people in three countries spent more money on all items over time.

~~Taking a glance at foodstuffs,~~ (The professor does not want you to glance at the charts. That is not being a diligent student! They want you to study them carefully so you can give an accurate report. "Foodstuffs" is not a good word choice. And all these words are superfluous.) the ~~allocated~~ budget of the French for food ~~these commodities~~ (wrong word) took up 40% in 2008, nearly three times as much as it was in 1998. ~~at the beginning~~. The German, conversely, added only 10% of their earnings to their spending. (That makes no sense at all.) 10% (never begin a sentence with a number written in digits.) was also the increase observed in England, though the amount spent (Amount is not good. You must use "relative amount" or proportion" since there are no absolute numbers.) here was far smaller than the others, at a maximum (wrong word. A maximum is the largest of many values. There is only one value given.) of 15%.

Regarding other items, expenses paid (wrong expression. ) by the German (wrong form) were the greatest, at approximately 17%, outspending (wrong word) the French and the British by 10% in 1998. Ten years later, there were ~~apparent~~ (Apparent is subjective. What you are reporting is real, not apparent, information.) rises of around 30% in goods' expenditure (wrong expression; the goods did not spend anything! ) in ~~the former~~ these two countries, yet the opposite was true for German, where an 8% growth can be seen. ~~witnessed~~. (wrong word)

It is generally a very bad idea to use synonyms for the categories on mathematical plots. Synonyms seldom have the exact same meaning, so you only confuse the situation by trying to use them. Use synonyms freely in Task 2. Avoid them in Task 1.

Example essay (A bit lengthy at 200 words)

The two bar charts, the first labelled "food" and the second "other goods", compare the percentage of their total income that people in France, Germany and England, spent in each of two separate years, 1998 and 2008.

Overall, the proportion of income allotted to both categories increased between 1998 and 2008. Especially notable was France, where it was substantially higher than the other countries in 2008. English people spent the lowest percentage on food in both years.

In detail, in 1998, the French had to allocate less than a quarter of their income to these items, and this ballooned to 80% in 2008. This compares to England, where the jump in the proportions were from 18% to 50% respectively, and Germany with a lowest increase from 42 to 54%. In the case of food, the outlay for the French more than doubled, from 15% to 40%, compared to much smaller rises for the Germans and the English, from 25 to 30% and 10 to 15% respectively. For other goods, the increases were much more dramatic, a factor of five for the English, (7% to 35%), quadrupling for the French (9% to 40%), and about half for the Germans (17 to 24%).

IELTS Task 1 - Bar chart [1B_03]

Top answer

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

Related Questions