IELTS task 1

Question

The Graphs Below Provide Information On Global Population Figures And Figures For Urban Populations In Different World Regions.

The graphs illustrate the trend in world population growth from 1800 to 2100 and make predictions of urban population figures in various world counties.

Overall, global population witnessed an obvious soar from 1800 until the present inclusive and is forecasted to continuously rocket in the future. Similarly, experts predict that there is a significant rise in people in developing regions while developed regions will steadily remain at the same level throughout 2015 to 2040.

Looking at the detail, the number of total people in the world began at 1000 million in 1800 then gradually increased to 2000 million in 2000. However, the world population is presumed that will dynamically grow from 1800 onward and hit the peak of above 8 billion between 2040 and 2050 which is followed to continuously slash from 2060 to 2100.

Moving to concrete world regions, the developing regions expect to build up dramatically, namely, around 2 billion in 2015, leaping to 3100 million and 3600 million people in 2030 and 2040 respectively then will finish at 4 billion people in 2040. In contrast, developed regions supposed to have a plateau in the figures with starting at 1200 million people in 2015 then stabilize at the same level in the next 25 - year. Finally, the world will see a considerable urbanization in developing counties.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

1) counties. [spelling]

2) The trend is presumably actual figures from 1800 to the present day, and is thereafter a projection.

3) Words such as "soar", "rocket", "slash" are used by journalists and popular business writers, but IELTS Task 1 is a quasi-academic report, and as such this type of word is too sensational. What is needed is dry and objective wording which does not carry an emotive bias or sub-commentary.

4) Be wary of the word "obvious" in academic writing: it is often redundant, and can sometimes come across as contemptuous. To my mind there is no obvious soaring. Population rose steadily to around 1940 and then much more steeply to the present day.

5) Why is there no mention of the forecast decline in the overview? This can be implied simply by using the word "peak".

6) forecast: check the conjugation of this verb: it does not change in the past.

7) "rise in people": either rise in the number of people, or population increase/growth.

8) " will steadily remain at the same level " -> will remain steady (word order). "at the same level" is redundant.

9) " presumed that will dynamically grow from 1800": there is no presumption about historical figures.

10) "dynamically grow": why not just "grow"? The adverb adds nothing.

11) "hit a peak": just use "peak" as a verb in academic writing: it is more objective.

12) "which is followed to continuously slash" -> , followed by a decline ....

13) "concrete" is not quite the right word in the context of world regions. I would simply begin baldly with: "The population in developing regions are expected to ... " [note passive. Also, it is not the regions that are expanding, it is the population.]

14) "namely" does not fit the context. "leaping" implies a jump. -> expand by a third, rising from around 2 billion in 2015 to 3.6 billion in 2035, and finishing ....

15) " supposed to have a plateau" -> are projected to plateau at ... (Note passive: also, plateau can be used as a verb.)

16) -> over the next twenty-five years.

17) "experts predict that there is": -> there will be. I question the use of "experts": there is nothing to say the data was compiled by experts. -> The prediction is for population in developing regions to grow by ...

18) I am not sure where the "urban" bit comes in: perhaps there is a label missing.

19) At 219 words, you may not have enough time in the exam to complete. I suggest you rewrite, pruning the word count to around 170. It is supposed to be pedestrian academic writing, so eliminate unnecessary gloss. If you write Task 1 first in the exam, it is best to get it done within twenty minutes and focus your energy on Task 2, which is worth twice the marks.

Anonymous · Answer

Correction: the population in developing regions is expected to ...

AlpheccaStars · Answer

Please do not put the essay instructions in the "Subject" line. Put it with your answer in the message body.

Subject: Please review my IELTS Writing Task 1 essay
Topic: The Graphs Below Provide Information On Global Population Figures And Figures For Urban Populations In Different World Regions. (Finish the instructions)

Attach the figure here

My essay:

(Your text here...)

AlpheccaStars · Answer

The graphs ~~illustrate~~ show the ~~trend in~~ world population growth from 1800 to 2100 and make predictions of the urban population numbers ~~figures~~ in various world counties. ( Which countries on the graphs?)

That is not an accura

That is not an accurate description. There are two different kinds of figures. They show different things. You mashed them together into one sentence, which does not apply to both of them. Describe each one separately. Only one shows urban populations, and the time span is different.

Overall, global population witnessed an obvious soar from 1800 until the present inclusive and is forecasted to continuously rocket in the future. (Those are words that are possible in a sensational newspaper story, but not appropriate in academic writing.) Similarly, experts predict that there is a significant rise in people (People aren't rising - From 2015 to 2040, a linear increase in population size will occur in developing regions, whereas it will remain constant in developed regions. ) in developing regions while developed regions will ~~steadily~~ remain at the same level throughout 2015 to 2040.

Looking at the detail, (Which figure are you describing, the line graph or the bar chart?) the number of total people (total number, not total people) in the world began at 1000 million in 1800 then gradually increased to 2000 million in 2000. However, the world population is predicted to ~~presumed that will dynamically~~ grow from 1800 onward and hit a ~~the~~ peak of above 8 billion between 2040 and 2050 which is followed to continuously slash from 2060 to 2100.

Moving to concrete (wrong word) world regions, (Which figure are you describing, the line graph or the bar chart?) the developing regions expect to build up dramatically, namely, around 2 billion in 2015, leaping to 3100 million and 3600 million people in 2030 and 2040 respectively then will finish at 4 billion people in 2040. In contrast, developed regions supposed to have a plateau ~~in the figures with~~ starting at 1200 million people in 2015 then stabilize at the same level in the next 25 - year. Finally, the world will see a considerable urbanization in developing counties.

IELTS task 1

The Graphs Below Provide Information On Global Population Figures And Figures For Urban Populations In Different World Regions.

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