IELTS TASK 1

Question

Could you please check my new essay below. Thank you very much.

"The first chart below shows the results of a survey which sampled a cross-section of 100,000 people asking if they traveled abroad and why they traveled for the period 1994-98. The second chart shows their destinations during the same period.

Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

You should write not less than 150 words."

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The table presents information about whether people in the UK went abroad the reason why they travel between 1994 and 1998. The bar chart gives data on the place where they were landed.

In the table, there are about one-fifth of people surveyed traveled abroad and around two-thirds of them went outside the UK during their holiday. Some other people went out for working, which is the second common purpose. Most of the remainder of those who went abroad wanted to meet directly their relatives and mates again, while the other had some different reasons.

According to the chart, from 1994 to 1998, the figures quite fluctuate, there was a slight dip in the first two again but soon increased in the rest of that period. However, the shape of the bars in each year was not changed at all: people almost went around Western Europe. A few of the rest traveled to North America and the rest destinations were other places in the world.

To sum up, UK residences are not up to go abroad. Among the opposite one, they preferred to went to somewhere near their nations mostly for relaxing.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

Did you upload the wrong picture? Your writing does not match the table and bar chart in the image.

The table presents information about whether people in the UK went abroad (No, the table does not show whether or not the UK people went abroad. ) (missing word) the reason why they travel (wrong tense) between 1994 and 1998. The bar chart gives data on the place (What does it tell us about the place? The weather, or the language or something else?) where they were landed. (wrong usage)

In the table, there are about one-fifth (??) of people surveyed (missing word) traveled abroad and around two-thirds of them (I don't know where you get two-thirds or one-fifth. You wrote this: Of the people surveyed, 13% went abroad during their holiday. Two-thirds of one-fifth is 13%.) went outside the UK during their holiday. Some other people (The people not in the survey?) went out (Outside?) for working, which is the second common purpose. (What was the first common purpose?) Most of the remainder of those who went abroad wanted to meet directly (missing word) their relatives and mates again, while the other (wrong form) had some different reasons.

According to the chart, from 1994 to 1998, the figures quite fluctuate, (wrong word) there was a slight dip in the first two (I don't know what you mean by the "first two." the first two people? The first two trips?) again but soon increased in the rest of that period. However, the shape of the bars (Bars always have the same shape; they are all rectangular.) in each year was not changed at all: people almost went around Western Europe. (Do you mean they went part way around the continent?) A few of the rest traveled to North America and the rest destinations were other places in the world.

To sum up, UK residences are not up to go abroad. (You wrote that houses in the UK are not willing or prepared to travel outside the country.) Among the opposite one, they preferred to went (wrong form) to somewhere near their nations (wrong word) mostly for relaxing.

Fluctuate: Fluctuate means to go up and down many times, usually erratically and quickly around some trend line or mid point. The graphs below show fluctuation.

The red line shows fluctuation. The black line is the trend line.

IELTS TASK 1

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