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Persian Learner Posted 7 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

IELTS T2 Essay

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Could you please have a look at the following essay?

In some countries, people are forced to retire when they reach a certain age. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?


Some governments have introduced a compulsory retirement age. Although the policy may cause certain malign influences, the benefits should not be overlooked.

One of the biggest drawbacks of forcing employees to retire could be reducing the elderly's spending power on the grounds that retirement pensions received are often meager. Axiomatically, the present economic turmoil means a sizeable number of pensioners have seen the value of their pensions and savings fall rapidly. The picture worsens when it comes to a country experiencing spiraling inflation.

Another related criticism is that, in the twilight years, people are more inclined to suffer from mental disorders, and retirement can exacerbate this phenomenon. As a matter of fact, that many enjoy their job means they feel productive and satisfied as working individuals; therefore, an unsolicited and forceful retirement could lead to depression, turning to drug abuse, or even an early demise, as research has proven. A highly-respected white-collar worker, for instance, who used to be on the payroll of a company is likely to feel insignificant once being compelled to retire. Such a person may already have some concerns and perhaps will face more tensions in their post-working lives.

That being said, it is mandatory retirement that can pave the way for the young workforce whose vigor and motivation might open doors for companies' progress. Having new ideas, together with a desire to make risks and achieve high expectations are normally principal factors that distinguish conservative old-timers from young employees. As competitions are very keen among companies in today's world, it seems very difficult for many firms to turn a blind eye to numerous benefits that such enthusiastic young employees can bring to their business and, instead, retain some conservative old ones.

What is more, forcing inefficient fat cats-who do not do companies any good-to retire would result in a reduction in companies' expenses since such employees typically draw six-figure salaries. The corollary of this is the availability of sufficient budget for diversification and financial performance-related incentive for subordinates.

By every account, obligatory retirement will lead to certain adverse effects for retirees. Nonetheless, the advantages for companies and young labor should not be ignored.

  

Top answer

Some governments have introduced a compulsory retirement age. Although the policy may cause certain malign influences , (wrong usage. "Malign" is associated with evil and wickedness, not simply bad or negative.

  • Some governments have introduced a compulsory retirement age.
  • Although the policy may cause certain malign influences , (wrong usage.
  • "Malign" is associated with evil and wickedness, not simply bad or negative.
  • " ) the benefits should not be overlooked.
  • One of the biggest drawbacks of forcing employees to retire could be reducing the elderly's their spending power on the grounds given that retirement pensions received are often meager.
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1 Answers
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Some governments have introduced a compulsory retirement age. Although the policy may cause certain malign influences, (wrong usage. "Malign" is associated with evil and wickedness, not simply bad or negative. Influence is also inappropriate usage after "cause." " This policy may have bad / unfortunate / undesirable / unwanted side effects..."

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