Ielts essay; Which band I can achieve with this essay?

For schoolchildren, their teachers have more influence on their intelligence and social development than their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that the intelligence and social development of schoolchildren are more affected by their teachers than their parents. Personally, I agree with this statement.

On the one hand, some people opine that parents have more effects on their children than the teachers because they believe that family is the ground of children's development. Parents accompany their children from the beginning, when they start to identify themselves, and teach them some basic knowledge and skills such as behavior and counting before they go to school. However, this thinking is flawed, teachers are the ones who develop their ability in the long-term including intelligence and social skills.

On the other hand, there are myriad compelling reasons why teachers have more implications on children than their parents. To begin with, teachers play a key role in teaching children academic knowledge, which is vital for them in the future to adapt to modern society. It is clear that not every parent can teach their children academic knowledge notwithstanding their levels; they can get difficulty in how to generate, compared with teachers trained to do this work. In addition, in the present day, schools organize more social activities which are specially designed for children to develop their social skills. For instance, debate competitions are organized by teachers or schools to develop children's critical thinking ability.

In conclusion, it can not be denied effects of parents on children in the course of development; however, I believe that the social development and intelligence of children are more affected by teachers than their parents.