Ielts Essay Taks 2

Question

Hi all, I am a english learner, can you give me feedback on by essay, please. I will take the test next month. Thank a lot

-----------------

Topic: Scientists predict in the near future cars will be driven by computers, not people. Why? Do you think a positive or negative development?

ANSWER

Automated vehicles are anticipated to develop significantly since a number of reasons. While there are some benefical effects, I believe this is a negative development.

More automation is expected in transportation for a range of reasons. Firstly, automated cars may improve road safety. Human error is the leading cause of traffic accident. Therefore, by removing people as drivers, the number of collisions could be reduced. In addition, more automation may save time and improve efficiency. Vehicles could collaborate to make the best use of all available routers. As a result, the congestion can be reduced

On the other hand, I believe that this development may create some problems. Firstly, integrating this technology into existing road infrastructure would be problematic. This is due to the fact that no government want to invest a large amount of money to develop whole road system. Therefore, autonomous cars would have to share routes with conventional vehicles, so safety gains would be reduce. Another problem is that computer are not infallible. In fact, hardware or software errors may occur, and the accidents become more atrocious.

In conclusion, I would argue that the drawbacks of automates vehicles outweigh the benefits

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

Topic: Scientists predict that in the near future cars will be driven by computers, not people. Why? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

ANSWER

Automated vehicles are anticipated to develop significantly since a number of reasons. (Unnatural. "since a number of reasons" is not a good expression. Also, the passive voice must be used because vehicles do not develop by themselves. "Significantly" is not an appropriate word. "Fully automated vehicles are expected to be fully developed over the next few years." ) While there are some benefical effects, I believe this is a negative development.

More automation is expected in transportation for a range of reasons. (Don't use "for a range of reasons" or "for a number of reasons." These are rather meaningless expressions. Instead, say "for three reasons" and then you can follow with the specifics. "First, ... Second,... Third...") ~~Firstly~~, First, (Do not use "first" unless you use "second" later.) automated cars may improve road safety. Human error is the leading cause of traffic accidents. Therefore, by removing people as drivers, the number of collisions could be reduced. In addition, more automation may save time and improve efficiency. Vehicles could collaborate to make the best use of all available routes. ~~routers~~. As a result, ~~the~~ congestion can be reduced (missing punctuation)

On the other hand, I believe that this development may create some problems. ~~Firstly~~, First, integrating this technology into existing road infrastructure would be problematic. This is due to the fact that no government wants to invest a large amount of money to develop such an advanced ~~whole~~ road system. Therefore, autonomous cars would have to share routes with conventional vehicles, so safety gains would be reduce. Another problem is that computer are not infallible. In fact, hardware or software errors may occur, and the accidents become more atrocious. (inappropriate. "serious")

In conclusion, I would argue that the drawbacks of automates vehicles outweigh the benefits (missing punctuation)

Ielts Essay Taks 2

Top answer

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

Related Questions