IELTS Essay, could you please give me some comments?

COMMUNICATION

Many young children have unsupervised access to the internet and are using the internet to socialise with others. This can lead to a number of dangerous situations which can be threatening for children. What problems do children face when going online without parental supervision? How can these problems be solved?

The internet has reached almost every corner of the globe and more than a third of the population around the world have access to internet. This trend is not restricted to the adults who have the ability and intelligence to control their behaviours, but is also evident among the younger ones who might not have so much social experience.

The biggest problem for children to go online is that they cannot determine whether the information they receive are trustworthy. It is crucial to understand that a child may not have the capability to distinguish fiction and real news. For instance, one wildly surprising report finding indicates amongst the primary school students who claimed they can easily identify whether information are true or false, less than a quarter could actually tell the differences between the real coverages and sponsored contents. Clearly, if this is the case, children who get excessive explore to pornographic and violent contents have high possibilities to become juvenile offenders because they have learnt the pornographically sanctioned acts of direct violence against women and the weak. Moreover, the extensive social networking allow those who have criminal intentions and shady characters to approach young children with ease. Yet many children cannot distinguish whether an action is kind or mean – that is to say, they often believe in what other people have told them and fall into the trap.

While Federal Government continually pull parents’ attentions and urge them to take measures to combat this issue, I believe the solution lies with the government. The government has a legal obligation to ensure children below eighteen should not be granted access to inappropriate internet contents. It should reinforce the relevant regulation and place more stringent rules to the media industry. Additionally, more tax revenue should be allocated to educate the youngsters how to protect their privacies and safety when utilizing social networking applications.

In conclusion, children accessing internet unsupervised has evoked many concerns amongst the parents due to the fear that they cannot identify false and deceived information. However, with more investments from government in controlling the contents that can be displayed, this worry could be alleviated.