IELTS essay

I would appreciate it if I could have your comments on my essay.

Essay topics: Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society.To what extent do you agree?

Social networking sites, for instance Facebook, are thought by some to have had a detrimental impact on our communities and individual as well as our society. However I believe that such site had their own negative effect and positive effect on individual and society, in my opinion, I agree that they are mainly had a damaging effect on local communities.

First of all, for some people who had an opposite view point, social networking sites may be very useful for us nowadays and there are a main factors of development in a lot of countries. But on the other hand, we are now overusing and more depending on social network and this situation keeps us far away from a face-to-face conversation as well as lack of creativeness.

On top of that, we are more and more depend on social network and spent too much of time on internet. Facebook for example, rather than individual people taking part in their local community, they are instead choosing to take interest in people online. Consequently, people in local communities are no longer forming close or supportive relationships. Furthermore, societies as a whole are becoming increasingly more disjointed and fragmented if people spend more time on online chat and never meet face to face and who they are unlikely to ever meet in the future.

In conclusion, social networking sites had more detrimental impact on individual and our community if we mainly depend on online sites day after day and being isolated from our local community. We should change this situation in order to promote a better future of community life.