IELTS academic writing task 2

Please, help me with my practise for IELTS writing task 2. I’m a little confused with a structure, a lot of different information from different sources. I tried to make me best in this essay. How would you rate my essay and what would you recommend to improve/change/replace???

The task is:

Many people prefer to use public transportation while others say that personal cars are the best mode of transportation. Excessive use of private cars is considered to be the main reason for the traffic jam in many cities and that's why the use of public transportation is encouraged.

In your opinion what are the pros and cons of using public transport?

My answer:

Over the last two or three decades, the way that public transport is done has changed dramatically due to major advances in time safety. As a result, a growing number of people are now choosing to travel by underground instead of car. However, some opponents hold the view that mass transit have a myriad of demerits, other advocates have a diverse view that it makes users‘ lives easier. In this essay I will elucidate possible pros and cons of using public transport and try to draw why the advantages outweigh the disadvantage.

One of the most striking disadvantage of using public transport is the fact that users have to sacrifice their comfort.

This is because millions of people worldwide have to deal with poor public transport service.

For example, if a company worker go to a work by underground, it is necessary to be on the station in advance, otherwise there is a risk to be late because of unforeseen circumstances, such as crowded wagon with passengers or even train delay.

As a consequence, users deter from using mass transit because of infinite delays and huge amount of jostling.

On the other hand, the majority of people are tend to economy on transportation.

The reason is not everyone is ready to pay a fortune for a private vehicle maintenance. Obviously, taking buses or trains is cheaper than using private cars. Moreover, there are plenty amount of discounts for some individuals, like students, elder people and children.

This would result in people having more money on their own needs, which is much better than get through loads of money on private car.

An extra advantage is that using public transport can preserve the environment.

In other words, peoples’ usage of mass transit reduces pollution, because there are less cars driving on the road, fewer fumes and traffic jams.

I hold the point of view that its merits far exceed the demerit, for instance, travelling by high quality trains or trams can be not only convenient, but also without any local air pollution.

To conclude, although using public transport has certain disadvantages like undeveloped transit ridership, it has an extremely positive impact on environment and provides a prosperous future for all of us. Clearly, I believe that the positives of using mass transit have surpassed its drawbacks due to some consequences on personal savings and natural world.