IELTS Academic Writing Task 2

Please give me some comments for my essay

Nowadays, more people are migrating to than countries than ever before. In order to become integrated into society in their adopted countries, immigrants should abandon their old ways and adapt to local custom and codes of behaviour.

Do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or
experience.

Today there are more and more people move to developed nations to increase their lives. Obviously, they have to completely face to a strange environment. Most people claim that newcomers had better give up their old custom so as to be in harmony with their new life. In my opinion, each country has their own laws and lifestyles so we must obey all of them to have a comfortable life in a new place.

There is no one who can accept other people making different things from them. For instance, in your old country, most people go to bed after 11 p.m why everybody here all turn off the lights and go to sleep before 10 p.m. Certainly, you can not listen to music with max volume at half-past 11 p.m, either hand out with your friends too late at night or even stay at your friend ‘s house after 10 p.m. That may be rude if you do not follow local community’s lifestyles.

On the other hand, the similarities between people bring them together. Immigrants should respect society’s customs where they are living. Whenever you decide to live in a new place, you absolutely belong there. Although I do not deny having a lot of variety of cultures makes a country more interesting but too many differences pull them apart. The more unitary community is, the more prosperous society is.

In summary, I always believe that in order to maintain societal cohesion immigrants have to appreciate and accept rules of behaviour in their adopted country.