IELTS 1 Practice 2 Wirting task 1

I hope someone could help me correct and evaluate my essay.

The diagram below shows how the Australian Bureau of Meteorology collects up-to-the-minute information on the weather in order to produce reliable forecasts.

Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
You should write at least 150 words.

The diagram illustrates the method the Australian Bureau of Meteorology gathers the latest data and produces the precise weather forecast. In overview, before being distributed to audience there are 2 neccesary stages including data gathering and data analysis.

Depending on the categories, the actual data shall be collected from different sources. Sea currents, winds, atmosphere and air pressure requires a variety of equipment to retrieve.

Then, an appropriate technique shall be opted to visualize the collected data in photos, charts or computer generated graphics. Once the data is visualized, it is feasible to produce the forecasted information ,by the usage of probability math.

Reports shall be controlled by a central computer which helps drive the data-flow. It can be distributed via TV programs, radio programs or even individual prerecorded message in emergency case.

In conclusion, using technology and computer plays an important role in forecasting and providing the most accurate weather forecast in Australia.