Iambic Pentameter!!

Question

Can you please point out the lines that are not iambic pentameter..and tell me how to fix them!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH!! I REALLY APPRECIATE IT!!!

A life of love is like a treasure chest.
Filled with choices, surprise and fulfillment.
Sometimes people think they're put to the test.
Making decisions and wanting consent.

Love is like a giant roller coaster.
Along the way we might feel we're frumpy.
With bright colors and looks like a poster.
Sometimes the ride may be a bit bumpy.

The sun kisses the morning big blue skies.
The dew rises from the suns yellow shine.
While the birds sing with young butterflies.
The marital bliss is now all in line.

Love isn't easy, a work in progress.
Some wouldn't settle for anything less.

Avangi · Accepted Answer

Only the first line is in iambic pentameter.

Nearly all of your lines have the correct number of syllables.
(The butterfly line is one syllable short.)

CalifJim · Answer

Anonymous lines that are not iambic pentameter..and tell me how to fix them

Gosh! Though you seem to have pentameter down pat, it doesn't seem you know what iambic is. How to advise you? Hmm. It's got to do with stress. You need ten syllables per line (As I said, you seem to get that all right), and each even-numbered syllable has to have a stress (That's the iambic part). You can't start a line with a stressed syllable, as with "Filled with choices", "Sometimes", "Making", "Love is like", and you can't end with an unstressed syllable, as with "coaster", "bumpy", "progress". Each line has to go "ta DA ta DA ta DA ta DA ta DA"!!! I guess all I can say is to try again after reading the following, exaggerating the rhythm.

Examples (All from Millay):

O ailing Love, compose your struggling wing!
Confess you mortal; be content to die.

The heart once broken is a heart no more,
And is absolved from all a heart must be;

When Time and all his tricks have done their worst,
Still will I hold you dear, and him accurst.

Soon must I say, "'Tis prowling Death I hear!"
Yet come no better off, for my quick ear.
___________

By the way, you need to punctuate your poem the same as if it were prose. "With bright colors and looks like a poster" isn't a sentence, so it shouldn't be punctuated that way. And you don't need to have one sentence per line; your sentences can span many lines, and I see that you've done that in a few places, which is good. The whole poem has to be a statement or story of some kind. It can't just be a lot of isolated lines that don't add up. I think you get that, but it needs work for all of it to come into clearer focus. Good luck!

CJ

Avangi · Answer

What you might call "the rhythm" of these two lines is identical:

Ma~~king de~~ci-sions and wan~~ting con~~sent

Some woul-ldn't set-tle for a-ny-thing less.

Notice that you set up a three-syllable pattern: one strong, followed by two weak.

TA da da TA da da TA da da (TA)

It's a great rhythm, but there are two things wrong with it:
(1) The iambic pattern has only two syllables.
(2) The first one must be weak, and the second one must be strong.

This pattern has a completely different feeling from the iambic.

You should be able to say these two lines out loud (1st one, 2nd one, 1st one, 2nd one etc.) and listen for the similarity between them.

Then do the same with two lines of iambic:

With all my worldly goods I thee endow.
Is this the face that launched a thousand ships?

Or pick two of CJ's lines.

You must be able to hear the patterns in order to choose your words.

Iambic Pentameter!!

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