I would be very grateful if you would take a look at these paragraphs about the movie 'The Green Mile'

Question

Hi teachers,I would be very grateful if you would take a look at these paragraphs about the movie 'The Green Mile' and see if you agree with them. If not, please suggest some alternatives.In a United States prison there is a giant black man, John Coffey, accused of two young white girls murder and rape. Though he has powers: to heal and help the sick.When Paul, a guard, talks to John he finds that he has the mind of a small child, apparently afraid of the dark.One day  he heals Paul's urinary tract infection and resurrecting a mouse. Later, he heals the terminally ill woman, Clarkson, who had a brain tumor.At one point of the movie John places his hand on Paul. Paul sees that Wharton was responsible for the murder John Coffey is convicted for.But at the end John is put in the electric chair. He asks Paul not to put the black hood over his head because he is afraid of the dark. Paul agrees, shakes his hand, and John is executed.Thanks in advance

KrisBlueNZ · Accepted Answer

Hi again TS!

~~In a United States prison~~ ~~there is~~ "there is" sounds a bit childish here; suggest A United States prison receives a giant black man, John Coffey, ~~accused~~ convicted of ~~two young white girls murder and rape~~ suggest the rape and murder of two white girls. suggest Coffey is no ordinary man: he has the power ~~Though he has powers:~~ to heal ~~and help~~ the sick.
When Paul, a guard (is Paul just a guard? I think he has a higher rank than that), talks to ~~John~~ Coffey, he finds that he has the mind of a small child, apparently afraid of the dark.
(It's normal to refer to people by their surname, unless you have a good reason not to; you should do this with Paul too. The first time you mention them, state first name and surname, and from then on, refer to them by their surnames.)
One day he Coffey heals Paul's urinary tract infection and ~~resurrecting~~ resurrects a mouse (he doesn't do those things on the same day, but your sentence implies that he does). Later, he heals ~~the~~ a terminally ill woman~~, Clarkson,~~ (there's no need to give her name; she's not an important character) who ~~had~~ has a brain tumor. (She is the wife of a prison official, isn't she? This might be worth mentioning.)
At one point of in the movie John places his hand on Paul. , and Paul sees that ~~Wharton~~ someone else was responsible for the murder ~~John~~ Coffey is was convicted ~~for~~ of. (You haven't introduced Wharton yet, and his name is not important.)
~~But~~ ~~at the end~~ suggest Finally, John is put in the electric chair. He asks Paul not to put the black hood over his head because he is afraid of the dark. Paul agrees, shakes ~~his~~ Coffey's hand, and ~~John~~ Coffey is executed.

This summary omits many important plot elements and characters, but it covers the main points. It is very literal, and doesn't go into the movie's important themes like the unjustness of Coffey's conviction and execution, his humanity (although you mention him being afraid of the dark), the relationships between the guards, and many others. It's not so much a review as a minimal summary.
I'm gonna have to watch that movie again now :-)
BTW if you liked The Green Mile and haven't seen The Shawshank Redemption, I highly recommend it. It was adapted by the same guy who did The Green Mile.

Tenacious Learner · Answer

KrisBlueNZThis summary omits many important plot elements and characters, but it covers the main points. It is very literal, and doesn't go into the movie's important themes like the unjustness of Coffey's conviction and execution, his humanity (although you mention him being afraid of the dark), the relationships between the guards, and many others. It's not so much a review as a minimal summary.

Hi Kris BlueNZ,
Thank you so much for your correction. I really appreciate your help.
What I wrote here is just my correction of my student's homework. So, somehow I have to follow the line.
When Paul, a guard (is Paul just a guard? I think he has a higher rank than that). I really think he is only a guard.

One day Coffey heals Paul's urinary tract infection and resurrects a mouse (he doesn't do those things on the same day, but your sentence implies that he does).
Correction: One day Coffey heals Paul's urinary tract infection and another day resurrects a mouse. Better?

If you liked The Green Mile and haven't seen The Shawshank Redemption, I highly recommend it. It was adapted by the same guy who did The Green Mile.
Thank you very much but I've already watch it. As a matter of fact I have the DVD at home. I will watch it one of these days again because I watched it long time ago.

TS

Anonymous · Answer

Paul is the death row supervisor. So he is a little more than "just a guard".

Tenacious Learner · Answer

StormyPaul is the death row supervisor. So he is a little more than "just a guard".

Hi Stormy,
Thank you very much for your information. So, KrisBlue was right and I was wrong.

KrisBlueNZ · Answer

StormyWhen comforting a grammar **** - just gently say: There, their, they're.

LOL! I haven't laughed so loud in a long time :-)

KrisBlueNZ · Answer

Thinking SpainWhat I wrote here is just my correction of my student's homework.

It would probably be helpful if you pointed out the context of what you post. It would help us reply more appropriately.

Thinking SpainCorrection: One day Coffey heals Paul's urinary tract infection and another day resurrects a mouse. Better?

Better, but you can avoid "another day" by omitting "one day". For example, "From his cell, Coffey heals Paul's urinary tract infection, and resurrects a mouse". You could replace "From his cell" with "During his stay", or simply "Then".

I would be very grateful if you would take a look at these paragraphs about the movie 'The Green Mile'

Top answer

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

Related Questions