I want someone just to grade my essay for IELTS exam from 1-9

Question

The essay topic is : dieting can change a person's life for better or ruin one's health completely . What is your opinion ?

Nowadays, dieting became very essential for people everywhere , and this refers for many reasons such as being fit,keeping body healthy,and for beauty aims.And by years ,reports show that by the 2050 , half of United State citizens are at risk of getting fat, for this reason ,many associations impelled to encourage people doing sport and dieting .Meanwhile,many people were against dieting and they encourage doing sport only , they claim that dieting has a detrimental effect on people's health .

Admittedly , dieting is very important to keep our body free of fatal diseases like heat attack,strokes,sugar diabetes ,and many other.
People who had a disease or over weight obviously, they will do a diet to get rid of his problem. Unfortunately ,a lot of them instead of getting healthy they had additional diseases like blood ,and even psychological disease for instance .

Actually, I believe that making a diet is always good , just if doing it in right way ,and under the supervision of diet specialist because he will advice an integrated nutrition program that is specifically suitable for each person separately.

In conclusion , dieting has a pros and cons . But we can get the advantages if we make it in right way .In addition ,every person should do sport and eat natural products and be away of fat food to have a healthy life .

Mark Callan · Accepted Answer

Elijah Qassar The essay topic is : dieting can change a person's life for better or ruin one's health completely . What is your opinion ?Nowadays, dieting became very essential for people everywhere , and this refers for many reasons such as being fit,keeping body healthy,and for beauty aims.And by years ,reports show that by the 2050 , half of United State citizens are at risk of getting fat, for this reason ,many associations impelled to encourage people doing sport and dieting .Meanwhile,many people were against dieting and they encourage doing sport only , they claim that dieting has a detrimental effect on people's health .Admittedly , dieting is very important to keep our body free of fatal diseases like heat attack,strokes,sugar diabetes ,and many other.People who had a disease or over weight obviously, they will do a diet to get rid of his problem. Unfortunately ,a lot of them instead of getting healthy they had additional diseases like blood ,and even psychological disease for instance .Actually, I believe that making a diet is always good , just if doing it in right way ,and under the supervision of diet specialist because he will advice an integrated nutrition program that is specifically suitable for each person separately.In conclusion , dieting has a pros and cons . But we can get the advantages if we make it in right way .In addition ,every person should do sport and eat natural products and be away of fat food to have a healthy life .

Very good structure and ideas but many grammatical and word use errors.

Mark Callan · Answer

Here is an IMPROVED version. but still with many errors. There seems to be a lot of confusion about the verb tenses used and I hardly changed these, a lot of which are still wrong. You should look at the verb tenses used and revise your grammar
on tenses. See if we can produce an even better writing. Hope this helps you. Regards, Mark.
Nowadays, dieting has become very essential for people everywhere, and this refers for many reasons such as being fit, keeping the body healthy, and for beauty aims. And by years ,reports show that by 2050, half of the United States citizens are at risk of getting fat, for this reason ,many associations impelled to encourage people to do sport and dieting. Meanwhile, many people were against dieting and they encourage doing sport only, they claim that dieting has a detrimental effect on people's health .

Admittedly, dieting is very important to keep our body free of fatal diseases like heart attack, strokes, sugar diabetes and many other.
People who had a disease, or over weight obviously, will go on a diet to get rid of their problem. Unfortunately, a lot of them, instead of getting healthy had additional diseases like blood, and even a psychological disease for instance .

Actually, I believe that following a diet is always good, just doing it in the right way, and under the supervision of a diet specialist because he will advise an integrated nutrition program that is specifically suitable for each person separately.

In conclusion, dieting has pros and cons . But we can get the advantages if we do it in the right way .In addition,every person should do sport and eat natural products and avoid fatty food to have a healthy life .

Elijah Qassar · Answer

Thank you very much for your effort <img class='emoticon' style='Width:19px;Height:19px;' data-delaysrc='https://uat-englishforward-forums-backend.s3.us-west-2.amazonaws.com/Emoticons/1.gif' src='https://uat-englishforward-forums-backend.s3.us-west-2.amazonaws.com/Emoticons/1.gif' alt='Emotion: smile'/> , but could you please grade my essay from 1-9 ?

Mark Callan · Answer

Sorry, can't do.

Elijah Qassar · Answer

OK , Thank you anyway, I just  wanted to know if I had any improvement since I started  writing essays .

Mark Callan · Answer

In which case, send me an old writing.

Mark Callan · Answer

Hi there, study this version and correct your mistakes and you will learn.

Nowadays, dieting has became very essential for people everywhere, for many reasons, such as being fit, keeping your body healthy and for beauty aims. And by years ,reports show that by the year 2050 , half of the United States citizens will be at risk of getting fat, for this reason ,many associations were impelled to encourage people to do sport and dieting. Meanwhile, many people are against dieting and they encourage doing sport only , they claim that dieting has a detrimental effect on people's health .

Admittedly, dieting is very important to keep our body free of fatal diseases like heat attacks, strokes, diabetes ,and many others.
People who have a disease or are over- weight, will, obviously, do a diet to get rid of their problem. Unfortunately, a lot of them, instead of getting healthy, have an additional blood related disease and even a psychological disease for instance.

Actually, I believe that going on a diet is always good, just as long as it is done in the right way and under the supervision of a diet specialist because he will give advice for an integrated nutrition program that is specifically suitable for each person separately.

In conclusion, dieting has its pros and cons. But we can get the advantages if we do it in correctly .In addition ,every person should do sport and eat natural products and stay away from fatty food to have a healthy life .

Elijah Qassar · Answer

Ok, I will send you the old essays that I have written already .

I want someone just to grade my essay for IELTS exam from 1-9

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