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Hyundaisantafe126789 Posted 16 years ago
Grammar

I try to translate a Vietnamese Poem to English ,what's fauls

The original
Gi?t Suong Trên Mi M?t
Em dâu có bi?t lúc m?t tr?i sinh ra
M?t tr?i là nu?c m?t su?t m?t d?i m? cha
Khi em dã l?n n? h?ng n? trên môi
Gi?t suong trên mi m?t là cu?c tình, cu?c tình d?u tiên
Khi em c?t ti?ng khóc chào d?i bên nôi
Bu?n vui nhu con gió tho?ng ngoài tr?i xa xôi
Khi ta b?ng th?y tu?i ngày càng nhi?u thêm
C?n khô giòng nu?c m?t còn cu?c d?i, cu?c d?i bu?n tênh
Có nh?ng lúc em cu?i th?t bu?n
Sao em không khóc cho lòng, lòng nh? nhàng hon
Vì có nh?ng lúc ta nhìn cu?c d?i
Ni?m vui trong ánh m?t còn l? bu?n, l? bu?n trên môi
Xin em hãy khóc n?ng nàn t? con tim
Xôn xao giòng nu?c m?t h?t mu?n phi?n trong em
Khi ta dã có n? h?ng n? trong tim
Gi?t suong trên mi m?t là m?t tr?i, m?t tr?i d?u êm

My Translate:

The dewdrops on the eyelashes

You don't known when the sun was born
Sun is tears your parents shed in all their life.
When you was mature, a rosebud was in blossom on your lips
The dewdrop on your eyelash was your first love affair.
When you was born and cried by the cradle.
Pleasures and sadnesses are similar to outdoor breezes
When we suddenly recognized we are older with every passing day.
We were out of tears while our lives are sad.

There are times you sadly laughed
Why don't you cry to make you have more peace of mind.
Because there are times we looked at our lives and our pleasures
While our sad tears was on the lips.

Let you have a passionate cry from your heart
Streams of tears flow in abundance from your eyes and you are out of sadness
When I had a rosebud which bloomed in our heart.
The dewdrops on our eyelashes are soft sun.
  

Top answer

I have underlined some grammar/structure problems: The dewdrops on the eyelashes You don't known when the sun was born Sun is tears your parents shed in all their life . When you was mature, a rosebud was in blossom on your lips The dewdrop on your eyelash was your first love affair. When you was born and cried by the cradle.

  • I have underlined some grammar/structure problems: The dewdrops on the eyelashes You don't known when the sun was born Sun is tears your parents shed in all their life .
  • When you was mature, a rosebud was in blossom on your lips The dewdrop on your eyelash was your first love affair.
  • When you was born and cried by the cradle.
  • Pleasures and sadnesses are similar to outdoor breezes When we suddenly recognized we are older with every passing day.
  • We were out of tears while our lives are sad.
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1 Answers
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I have underlined some grammar/structure problems:

The dewdrops on the eyelashes

You don't known when the sun was born
Sun is tears your parents shed in all their life.
When you was mature, a rosebud was in blossom on your lips
The dewdrop on your eyelash was your first love affair.
When you was born and cried by the crad

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