I stood there frozen with fear; her tomographic eyes borne into mine.

Question

HiIs this sentence OK, especially the use of tomographic eyes?I stood there frozen with fear; her tomographic eyes borne into mine.Thanks,Tom

Khoff · Accepted Answer

No, it's not okay.  I have no idea what you mean by "tomographic eyes," (even after looking up "tomographic") and the use of "borne" is not right.  I really don't know what you're trying to say.

Mr. Tom · Answer

Sorry, Khoff -- that's what I do when I try to be literary. I mess up!

What should I call the eyes that are riveted into someone else's eyes? Penetrating? Boring? Does the following sentence make sense now? Or are there better adjectives?

I stood there frozen with fear; her boring/penetrating eyes riveted into mine.

Thanks,

Tom

PS: I tried to play with the term tomographic (in vain, of course) thinking that it may lead to the meaning "eyes that were doing my X-ray." Sorry!

Khoff · Answer

You can't use "boring" as an adjective unless you mean tedious and uninteresting. "Penetrating" is okay, but I think it goes better with "gaze" than with "eyes." I would say "riveted on," not "riveted into." I would also divide it into two sentences.

I stood there frozen with fear, her penetrating gaze riveted on my face.
I stood there frozen with fear. Her steely eyes, riveted/fixed on mine, seemed to penetrate right into my thoughts.
Her eyes, boring into mine, seemed capable of seeing right through me.

.....

I stood there frozen with fear; her tomographic eyes borne into mine.

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