I really need some help with my motivation letter!!!

Hello everybody my name is Pietro and I'm an italian student. After gathering some information i tried to write a first draft of my motivation letter for university, but i reckon it still needs a lot of work. I would love it if anybody would just give some feedback, or any hints or suggestions. I'm still working on introduction and conclusion for i find the first very weak and the second.. well there's no conclusion at all. so yeah i'm kinda desperate for help!! thanks a lot

Pietro



I would like to apply to the universities of ****** for Physics and music technology, ****** for Physics with a year in , ******, ******* for Physics.

I’m about to finish “liceo scientifico” here in , my hometown in . I have good academic standards and a passion for music. The reasons why I’m looking for a university in the are the better rankings, the excellent standards and the possibility to live on my own in an English speaking country.

First I’d like to try and explain what made choose Physics. I’ve always done well in both scientific and humanistic subjects, and I’ve always enjoyed both. So when it came down to choosing one, I had to think a lot. The reasons I ended up picking physics are several. First of all, I understand that physics is the basic and fundamental science, it is the main way to understand the world around us, and not only that. I also always found it challenging and stimulating, and I love the problem-solving aspect. Furthermore, I am looking for a subject that gives me career possibilities not only in one specific field, and I believe physics does so: from what I read, a degree in physics is a good start for a career in many different areas, such as biology, law, finance or engineering.

I am also very interested in music. I have been playing several instruments since the age of 8, and now I play guitar and synthesizers in a band. I can also play bass, and a bit of drums, piano and saxophone. So there is also a creative side to me, for I write and arrange most of the songs that we perform and record. This is why my first university choice is ******, which combines Physics and music technology: having said why I chose physics, it would let me not only study that but at the same time develop my knowledge of the modern music recording technologies, in which I’m very interested in for obvious reasons. It would be a great achievement for me to be able to write, arrange, play and record my own music.

In the last couple summers I have had the opportunity to take part in a youth exchange program.

Each summer of the last for years I spent a month or so in , , New Zealand and . On the one hand that improved my English quite a lot, considering that I only stayed in families, starting when I was 15. On the other, it gave me the chance to travel and see a bit of the world with my own eyes, not as a tourist but as a local. The one country that amazed me the most was definitely New Zealand, and that is why I also want to apply to the University of ******, to the course “physics with a year in ”. I am crazy about and if I could get to spend one year there, that might give me the chance to start a career there. It is by far the one place where I would want to live.

Furthermore, another thing that drives me into looking for a university in the is the desire for a environment that is stimulating and international, with up to date facilities and a young population of students. My other university choices are based (other than on the excellent academic standards) on the strong feeling that ******* and ******* provide just the environment I am looking for. For instance, I don’t intend to study music academically, but I wish to have a university that provides music facilities and the possibility of finding many students who are interested in music as I am, so that I can keep playing.