Hi guys,
could you please help me with the next monolog?
Context: A woman is explaining, why she decided to be a doctor.
When I was little, I got sick a lot. I remember going to the free clinic to see the doctor. I was always amazed by how important he was to so many people. I needed to matter so badly ??? (I don't understand to this sentence at all, does it mean that she wanted to be also important?).
I decided right then that's what I wanted to do. And I did what I had to do to get what I wanted.thanks in advance guys, "I need to matter"...I've never heard that...

Best Regards
JCD