I need your help to correct my English

Question

I am from india. Iwanted to improve english writing. I have written in small paragraph. I need someone to review it and let me know where should I have to improve.ThanksShi

Clive · Accepted Answer

Hi,

Go ahead and post it. Someone will probably offer advice, if it is not too long.

Clive

Canada_1966 · Answer

Thanks ..Here is my writing..

My politeness and gullible characters controlled my mental attitude when I was young. Whenever I talk to someone I will talk in a servile tone. I try to avoid but somehow I am not able to. I remember an incident that happened in my third year college, all my classmate boycotted a particular teacher’s class consecutively for a couple of weeks just to provoke him and avoid the class, went to saw a movie during that day. But in the following week, we were caught, I knew that I was in a imminent danger, I was so frenetic. Because my father and teacher were close friends. The next day morning my teacher called me and enquired about the incident and I anticipated this. I told them that I went home because I was sick. They did not accept and asked me to get a letter from my father. I knew that I lied and getting a letter from father was a tough one. As I don’t have a choice but to surrender to my teacher.

Clive · Answer

Hi,
Here are some edits. Please ask about any you don't understand.

My politeness and gullible character controlled my mental attitude when I was young. Now, whenever I talk to someone I do so in a servile tone. I try to avoid it but somehow I am not able to. I remember an incident that happened in my third year of college. All my classmates boycotted a particular teacher’s class consecutively for a couple of weeks just to provoke him and to avoid the class. We went to see a movie instead. But the following week, we were caught. I knew that I was imminent trouble. I was so frantic, because my father and teacher were close friends. The next day morning my teacher called me and enquired about the incident. I had anticipated this. I told him that I went home because I was sick. He did not accept and asked me to get a letter from my father. I knew that I had lied and that getting a letter from my father would be a tough one. So, I had no choice but to confess to my teacher.

Your story does not seem to relate well to your first two sentences.

Clive

Canada_1966 · Answer

Thanks CLive for you time to edit my writing. Could you please explain me in which area i should improve and focus. I am trying to improve my English by writing like this.

Shi

Clive · Answer

Hi,

No special area. Just keep writing, and posting here.
Did you look in detail at my corrections?

Clive

Canada_1966 · Answer

Thanks Clive. I have looked the changes you have made. I understood them. And, few things I wanted to calrify with you.

1. I anticipated this.( I have used in simple past)
2. I had anticipated this(You have changed to past participle. Is this for any particular reason?).

Just I wanted to justify for your comments in your earlier post.
--Your story does not seem to relate well to your first two sentences.

I have defined that the qualities of the person that I am describing in the first line of the paragraph were 'Politeness' and 'Gullible'. The meaning of 'Politeness' is: The act of showing regard for others. The meaning of 'Gullible' is: Naive and easily deceived. I thought that the 'Gullible' is also a 'submissive'.

So people with these characters cannot protest or confront with others. Person in this story was not able to withstand in that pressure. He has confessed immediately. I am not sure what other adjectives I could have used to define the characters. I have just tried.

Thanks for your comments.
Shi

Clive · Answer

Hi,

Thanks Clive. I have looked the changes you have made. I understood them. And, few things I wanted to calrify with you.

1. I anticipated this.( I have used in simple past) Not wrong.
2. I had anticipated this(You have changed to past participle. Is this for any particular reason?). It stresses more that the you were expecting the teacher to call.

Just I wanted to justify for your comments in your earlier post.
--Your story does not seem to relate well to your first two sentences.

I have defined that the qualities of the person that I am describing in the first line of the paragraph were 'Politeness' and 'Gullible'. The meaning of 'Politeness' is: The act of showing regard for others. The meaning of 'Gullible' is: Naive and easily deceived.
I thought that the 'Gullible' is also a 'submissive'. No

So people with these characters cannot protest or confront with others. You need o state that point more clearly and directly.
Person in this story was not able to withstand in that pressure. He has confessed immediately. I am not sure what other adjectives I could have used to define the characters. I have just tried.

Clive

Anonymous · Answer

I have written another paragraph and posted below.

Most of my friends had their school education in convent. So they all have a profound knowledge in English and read lot of novels. As they came to college they brought popular English novels and make sure that the front page title and author name to be appeared to everybody. For us, as if they flaunted their English knowledge to everyone in the class. That influenced me a lot, that year forward I started reading English novels. My close friends helped me finding good and simple books to read in English. Since then I started reading in English but never completed one book fully. Vestige of my past habit of reading still remains in me but not yet evolved.
--Si

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