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Nancy19820 Posted 20 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
I need you help. Please help me write this message in a polite way and gram
matically correct. Thank you very much for your help.
I have reviewed your revised presentation. As I read through it carefully, I saw some repeated slides in the presentation and I have a couple of comments. The power point presentation has a lot of slides that may not suitable to the audience. I wonder if you could take off some slides and focus on the marketing and loan opportunities such as where to apply for a loan, not necessary explain in detail how they apply for one. Also, I would suggest that you might want to move the slide name “SCORE at Cobb Chamber” to the last slide and “SCORE Website” is before the last slide. Because the audience consists of existing businesses, especially who are currently struggling to stay in business, we would like to give them a brief education class on marketing such as how to market their store, and improve or expand their business. Do you mind if I send you my suggested slides from your presentation?
I have reviewed your revised presentation. As I read through it carefully, I saw some repeated slides in the presentation and I have a couple of comments. The power point presentation has a lot of slides that may not suitable to the audience. I wonder if you could take off some slides and focus on the marketing and loan opportunities such as where to apply for a loan, not necessary explain in detail how they apply for one. Also, I would suggest that you might want to move the slide name “SCORE at Cobb Chamber” to the last slide and “SCORE Website” is before the last slide. Because the audience consists of existing businesses, especially who are currently struggling to stay in business, we would like to give them a brief education class on marketing such as how to market their store, and improve or expand their business. Do you mind if I send you my suggested slides from your presentation?
Top answer
I have reviewed your revised presentation, and noticed some repeated slides in the presentation that may not suitable to the audience . I wonder if you could remove some slides and focus more on the marketing and loan opportunities , such as where to apply for a loan, though not necessarily explain in detail how they apply for one. Also, you might want to move the slide entitled “SCORE at Cobb Chamber” to the last position and place “SCORE Website” before the last slide.
- I have reviewed your revised presentation, and noticed some repeated slides in the presentation that may not suitable to the audience .
- I wonder if you could remove some slides and focus more on the marketing and loan opportunities , such as where to apply for a loan, though not necessarily explain in detail how they apply for one.
- Also, you might want to move the slide entitled “SCORE at Cobb Chamber” to the last position and place “SCORE Website” before the last slide.
- Because the audience consists of existing businesses, especially those who are currently struggling to stay in business, we would like to give them a brief education class on marketing , such as how to market their store and how to improve or expand their business.
- Do you mind if I send you my suggestions for slides from your presentation?
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2 Answers
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I have reviewed your revised presentation, and noticed some repeated slides in the presentation that may not suitable to the audience. I wonder if you could remove some slides and focus more on the marketing and loan opportunities, such as where to apply for a loan, though not necessarily explain in detail how they apply for one. Also, you might
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