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Dkg Posted 18 years ago
Grammar
I need to make the best sense out of this paragraph
You've done well in purchasing your $6 Mini-Site, however, this next step is a testament to how serious you really are about your newfound business; most people are happy to zoom through this step, as it is the easiest but does involve you spending a bit more money (not to me of course)! Those who fuss about this are those who have a warped sense of what is needed to get a website on the Internet, or those who do not have the right type disposition to become successful at [any] type of online business for that matter; your success in life has everything to do with your attitude, and you really should not fuss about something that is a web standard and not an option.
.... Is it written properly? Thank you for your help!
.... Is it written properly? Thank you for your help!
Top answer
Hello, dkg-- and welcome to EF. It has some errors, but its main problem is that it is very bad piece of customer-relations writing and would be an insult to any purchaser. I suggest that you start again and be nice.
- Hello, dkg-- and welcome to EF.
- It has some errors, but its main problem is that it is very bad piece of customer-relations writing and would be an insult to any purchaser.
- I suggest that you start again and be nice.
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37 Answers
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Hello, dkg-- and welcome to EF.
It has some errors, but its main problem is that it is very bad piece of customer-relations writing and would be an insult to any purchaser. I suggest that you start again and be nice.
Hello, dkg-- and welcome to EF.
It has some errors, but its main problem is that it is very bad piece of customer-relations writing and would be an insult to any purchaser. I suggest that you start again and be nice.
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Thanks for your reply.
You are very right. I think that's why the "gods" would not have me finish it.
How would you write it in a nice way?
You are very right. I think that's why the "gods" would not have me finish it.
How would you write it in a nice way?
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Here's a beginning:
You've done well in purchasing your $6 Mini-Site; however, this next step is important to your new business. Many purchasers people zoom through this step, as it is the easiest, but it does involve you spending a bit more money, so it should be carefully executed. It is an important leg of the road to success in you new enterprise.
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Here's a beginning:
You've done well in purchasing your $6 Mini-Site; however, this next step is important to your new business. Many purchasers people zoom through this step, as it is the easiest, but it does involve you spending a bit more money, so it should be carefully executed. It is an important leg of the road to success in you new enterprise.
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Excellent Mister Micawber! Much thanks.
How would I go on to explain to them why they need to spend more money, money of which does not go to me? It's the cost of web hosting.
Can you help me to say this in a "nice" way?
I appreciate all of your help.
How would I go on to explain to them why they need to spend more money, money of which does not go to me? It's the cost of web hosting.
Can you help me to say this in a "nice" way?
I appreciate all of your help.
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OK how about this:
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You've done well in purchasing your $6 Mini-Site; however, this next step is important to your new business. Many purchasers people zoom through this step, as it is the easiest, but it does require you to spend a bit more money (none of which goes to me of course).
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You've done well in purchasing your $6 Mini-Site; however, this next step is important to your new business. Many purchasers people zoom through this step, as it is the easiest, but it does require you to spend a bit more money (none of which goes to me of course).
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Yes, I think that does the job quite well. A few cosmetics:
You've done well in purchasing your $6 Mini-Site; however, the next step is important to your new business. Many purchasers people zoom through this step, as it is the easiest, but it does require you to spend a bit more money (none of which goes to me, of course). This is the up-front cost yo
Yes, I think that does the job quite well. A few cosmetics:
You've done well in purchasing your $6 Mini-Site; however, the next step is important to your new business. Many purchasers people zoom through this step, as it is the easiest, but it does require you to spend a bit more money (none of which goes to me, of course). This is the up-front cost yo
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Great!
I have something I'd like to add, but I'll let you know in my next post.
Also, were you merely bolding the text to show me what has changed, or should those also be bolded in the text?
Much thanks for all the help so far!
I have something I'd like to add, but I'll let you know in my next post.
Also, were you merely bolding the text to show me what has changed, or should those also be bolded in the text?
Much thanks for all the help so far!
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You should be able to note that there are changes in each bolded section-- that is the purpose.
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You should be able to note that there are changes in each bolded section-- that is the purpose.
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Ok -- I also want to add this to the paragraph:
If this is your first time owning a website, I recommend starting off with a "true" monthly plan in the sense. Once you have settled into your Mini-Site, and have gained a better understanding of how web hosting companies work, you may upgrade to a 6 month, 1 year, 2 years, or 3 year plan.
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How does that sound ?
If this is your first time owning a website, I recommend starting off with a "true" monthly plan in the sense. Once you have settled into your Mini-Site, and have gained a better understanding of how web hosting companies work, you may upgrade to a 6 month, 1 year, 2 years, or 3 year plan.
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How does that sound ?
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