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Anonymous Posted 21 years ago
As a teenager, we begin to express ideas and make our own world. We didn’t think of other we just think of ourselves. But sometimes we are so depress and confused that we want to be free; make our own decision and live the crazy life. So do we going to let ourselves kill, not respect ourselves only to get away for our parent or enjoying the life without precaution?
It was a sunny and wonderful day. I was getting ready for school. I was sixteen; I was counting every morning and every night because I was so anxious to get 18. One day my friends invited me to go to a party and I said, “I have to ask permission before.” That night was the long night of my life: I clean the house, wash the dishes, and was my clothes. And my mom said, “What’s going on hear” and I say”mom, ah can I got to a party with some friends” and she said, “What friends”; she was quite for a second and then said “no”. I was so mad that I started to talk a lot of stupid things to my mom. I was thinking in my head what my friends going to said about me: that I’m a little girl, I never going to grow up and I just care too much what my parent think or said. I was getting tired; I felt that I was in a cage and needed to breath and to see the world and discover what the world got for me out there.
At angry I was, I always listen to my parents not matter what. Then the next day my friends call me and say “are you going or what”. For a moment I was thinking of going but then I remember every single word my mom told me. My friends were calling me chicken, baby, and boring. I was thinking supposal there are my “friends”; they cannot be telling me that.
I was sleeping when I hear a loud noise, I open my eyes and the phone was ringing. I wonder who is calling to late. I pick the phone; it was a frighten voice. She was crying and I couldn’t understand what she was saying. Then she told me, “we were all at the party and the party was so good that we begun to drink alcohol; my friend was so drunk that instead of take a taxi, he drove. My heart stopped for a moment and before I was going to ask her if everybody ok. I was thinking I wonder if I was in that party what could happen to me. However, she told me that everyone was okay and only one guy broke his leg.
At that point I don’t regret not going to the party because look what happen? That’s why we think that get away from everybody is the best think can happen believe me is not. In pulling up roots Sheehy says, “I have to get away from my parents” (103 Gail Sheely). When we are teenager we didn’t pay attention what our parent thought because we thought that they are old and they don’t want us to enjoy our life. But let me tell you something about this experience and everything that I been through...
I agree with the statement that Sheehy say, about teenager because everything that parent said is because they know was out there. They don’t want that we make the same mistake they did. Also they want that you make you mistake so you can learn and go out to enjoy the life. However have fun with precaution because we never know what can happen. And remember don’t enjoy something today that can cause you pain tomorrow.
Essay & Composition Writing
I need that some one check my essay and told me think or spelling
As a teenager, we begin to express ideas and make our own world. We didn’t think of other we just think of ourselves. But sometimes we are so depress and confused that we want to be free; make our own decision and live the crazy life. So do we going to let ourselves kill, not respect ourselves only to get away for our parent or enjoying the life without precaution?
It was a sunny and wonderful day. I was getting ready for school. I was sixteen; I was counting every morning and every night because I was so anxious to get 18. One day my friends invited me to go to a party and I said, “I have to ask permission before.” That night was the long night of my life: I clean the house, wash the dishes, and was my clothes. And my mom said, “What’s going on hear” and I say”mom, ah can I got to a party with some friends” and she said, “What friends”; she was quite for a second and then said “no”. I was so mad that I started to talk a lot of stupid things to my mom. I was thinking in my head what my friends going to said about me: that I’m a little girl, I never going to grow up and I just care too much what my parent think or said. I was getting tired; I felt that I was in a cage and needed to breath and to see the world and discover what the world got for me out there.
At angry I was, I always listen to my parents not matter what. Then the next day my friends call me and say “are you going or what”. For a moment I was thinking of going but then I remember every single word my mom told me. My friends were calling me chicken, baby, and boring. I was thinking supposal there are my “friends”; they cannot be telling me that.
I was sleeping when I hear a loud noise, I open my eyes and the phone was ringing. I wonder who is calling to late. I pick the phone; it was a frighten voice. She was crying and I couldn’t understand what she was saying. Then she told me, “we were all at the party and the party was so good that we begun to drink alcohol; my friend was so drunk that instead of take a taxi, he drove. My heart stopped for a moment and before I was going to ask her if everybody ok. I was thinking I wonder if I was in that party what could happen to me. However, she told me that everyone was okay and only one guy broke his leg.
At that point I don’t regret not going to the party because look what happen? That’s why we think that get away from everybody is the best think can happen believe me is not. In pulling up roots Sheehy says, “I have to get away from my parents” (103 Gail Sheely). When we are teenager we didn’t pay attention what our parent thought because we thought that they are old and they don’t want us to enjoy our life. But let me tell you something about this experience and everything that I been through...
I agree with the statement that Sheehy say, about teenager because everything that parent said is because they know was out there. They don’t want that we make the same mistake they did. Also they want that you make you mistake so you can learn and go out to enjoy the life. However have fun with precaution because we never know what can happen. And remember don’t enjoy something today that can cause you pain tomorrow.
Top answer
). I would emit a lot of the question marks because you don't want your audience confused. Also, don't feel like you have the force your point onto your audience.
- ).
- I would emit a lot of the question marks because you don't want your audience confused.
- Also, don't feel like you have the force your point onto your audience.
- Overall, this isn't a bad high school essay, I'm just critiquing it as a college essay.
- Anonymous But let me tell you something about this experience and everything that I been through...
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1 Answers
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Little late with your editing...about 6 years but I really like your topic, and the example you use are very descriptive.You did use the 5 point essay map, which is fine, but later in life, you'll find out that its not necessary for essays in most writing courses.(Every new college student feels dumb at this point, as did i!). I would emit a lot of the question marks because you don't want your a
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