I need some advice on my IELTS writing practice about obesity

The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing.

What is the reason for the growth in overweight people in society?

How can this problem be solved?

Writing:

There is an increase in the number of obese patients who suffer serious damage to their health. This essay will discuss the reasons behind this phenomenon and offer some feasible solutions to it.

The first reason is laziness. Nowadays, society is well-equipped with state-of-the-art technologies such as artificial intelligence and automatons, all of which can automatically perform our everyday tasks. This has led to an increase in the reliance of people on these high-tech machines and has also resulted in an addiction to them, which makes people neglect social and healthy exercises. Another factor responsible for obesity is food. Most obese people prefer fast foods to other healthier ones. These foods contain a large amount of fat and sugar contributing to building fat in our human bodies.

Although the aforementioned problems are quite hard to tackle, there are still some possible solutions to them, two of which are better food consumption and obligatory exercises. Vegetables and low-carb foods like bacon and eggs can greatly reduce our intake of fat and sugar. While our meal is fixed, we need to exercise more in order to burn calories and improve our overall health status, which can be done by implementing obligatory exercise schemes in schools or at work.

Overall, it is concerning that the number of people suffering from obesity is increasing as a result of laziness and unhealthy food consumption. However, it is not that hard of a problem to solve because we can alleviate this phenomenon by helping people lead a healthy lifestyle with healthier food and more exercise.

This is my first practice so I'm in need of advice and suggestions. I hope to learn more from you.