I need help with the Grammar on my Essay!

Diversity – Defined in the dictionary as the state or fact of being diverse; difference or variety.

My name is and as I look back on my life in High School and I

ponder what I’ve done that brought diversity to my school and my life, two thoughts

really stands in the forefront. The first is my involvement with the Lacrosse and Football

Teams at High. I had tried out for both teams but quickly learned that my forte

was not in playing but on the sidelines. The coach of our school is Mr. . He has

been the Coach for 30 plus years in . In the 30 years he has taught, not once

has he had a student approach him in this manner. I convinced him to give me a chance

and I guess it paid off for both of us as I have now been managing with him for the last

four years. I feel my taking the chance to try something different from anyone else in the

past really shows how diverse I am. I have always felt variety in life is what keeps life

interesting.

Secondly, I started Cub Scouts when I was 7 working my way through the ranks

to Life Scout at the age of 16. The lessons taught to me through those years were

invaluable, the self discipline and responsibilities given by my pears truly expanded my

abilities not only as a Boy Scout but also in my life. The real reward, however, was

passing down my skills to the younger Scouts. Watching them grow as I had done

brought tremendous satisfaction having once been in their shoes. It really showed me that

giving on a personal level can change peoples lives.

I hope these two experiences will show you my passion for life and my appreciation of

being a part of a community that works together to achieve great things.

While I have researched many fine colleges. I feel that the ______________________is

the right choice for me. I truly hope to start the next chapter of my life at your school.