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Anonymous Posted 13 years ago
Grammar
I need help with comma placement in a long sentence.
I am having difficulty with the following segment of a proposal I am writing for school. Specifically I am uncertain if I need a comma after the citation. If there are other errors I would welcome that feedback as well.
When combined with results of a 2003 study showing that first impressions from word of mouth communication are more influential than subsequent ones (Grewal, Cline & Davies) the near ubiquitous use of social media by our current and upcoming target demographics makes the importance of leveraging HP’s existing market share, to establish a large and strongly loyal customer base, essential to the improved and continued growth of PPS.
When combined with results of a 2003 study showing that first impressions from word of mouth communication are more influential than subsequent ones (Grewal, Cline & Davies) the near ubiquitous use of social media by our current and upcoming target demographics makes the importance of leveraging HP’s existing market share, to establish a large and strongly loyal customer base, essential to the improved and continued growth of PPS.
Top answer
The problem is easily solved, but you have others, and the first sentence makes no sense—you cannot combine 'use of social media' with 'results of a study': When combined with the results of a 2003 study (Grewal, Cline & Davies) showing that first impressions from w ord-of-mouth communications are more influential than subsequent one s, the nearly ubiquitous use of social media by our current and future target demographics makes the importance of leveraging HP's existing market sh are to establish a large and loyal customer b ase essen tial to the improved and continued growth of PPS.
- The problem is easily solved, but you have others, and the first sentence makes no sense—you cannot combine 'use of social media' with 'results of a study': When combined with the results of a 2003 study (Grewal, Cline & Davies) showing that first impressions from w ord-of-mouth communications are more influential than subsequent one s, the nearly ubiquitous use of social media by our current and future target demographics makes the importance of leveraging HP's existing market sh are to establish a large and loyal customer b ase essen tial to the improved and continued growth of PPS.
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2 Answers
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The problem is easily solved, but you have others, and the first sentence makes no sense—you cannot combine 'use of social media' with 'results of a study':
When combined with the results of a 2003 study (Grewal, Cline & Davies) showing that first impressions from word-of-mouth communications are more influential than subsequent ones, the
When combined with the results of a 2003 study (Grewal, Cline & Davies) showing that first impressions from word-of-mouth communications are more influential than subsequent ones, the
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