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Samroo326 Posted 18 years ago
Grammar
I need help re-writing this quote
"The hardened detective glanced at his rookie partner and mused that whoever had coined the term 'white as a sheet' had never envisioned a bed accessorized with a set of hazelnut, 500-count Egyptian cotton linens from Ralph Lauren complemented by matching shams and a duvet cover nor the dismembered body of its current occupent."
I need to re-write this because it is too wordy, but I need to keep the general topic. Can anyone help me?
I need to re-write this because it is too wordy, but I need to keep the general topic. Can anyone help me?
Top answer
Welcome, samroo326, to the Forums. We're here to help you whenever you need us! If the complaint is that it is too wordy, it probably stems from the fact that it is "too much sentence".
- Welcome, samroo326, to the Forums.
- We're here to help you whenever you need us!
- If the complaint is that it is too wordy, it probably stems from the fact that it is "too much sentence".
- Can you try to divide the elements by adding an additional sentence?
- Why don't you try that, and then give us another "call".
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1 Answers
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Welcome, samroo326, to the Forums. We're here to help you whenever you need us!
If the complaint is that it is too wordy, it probably stems from the fact that it is "too much sentence". Can you try to divide the elements by adding an additional sentence? Why don't you try that, and then give us another "call".
Cheers!
If the complaint is that it is too wordy, it probably stems from the fact that it is "too much sentence". Can you try to divide the elements by adding an additional sentence? Why don't you try that, and then give us another "call".
Cheers!
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