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Anonymous Posted 13 years ago
Letter Writing

I need help in writing an (complaining) email to my tutor

Dear John,
Thank you very much for your feedback and suggestions about the content. However, I am a little bit puzzled as I do not understand some comments. For ease of reference I just copied some of your comments below (in italics).
In general the paper has been evaluated as confusing and poorly-written (poor logical structure, effective synthesis, clarity of expression and correct referencing).
Eleven comments have been made up to page 3 (including conclusion and references) as a“guidance on how you could improve your expression”. Then the comment continues“Similar problems with the expression continue through the assignment”.
However, the lack of written comments (and evidences) on the rest of the assignment doesn’t indicate anything supporting this evaluation.
Regarding the grammar comments:
In p.1 “have” is marked as a grammar error. But there are two subjects (meaning and implication). “Over the last few years, however, the meaning and implication of library 2.0 have been highly discussed”.
Regarding the sentence structure:
In p.5 the comment“This is not a sentence” applied to the bellow sentence in my opinion is misguiding.
As evidenced by this review, when “… needs have been identified, librarians and administrators can design the flexible spaces, the innovative programs, and the adaptable service that will provide information in a manner appropriate for individual users” (Hendrix, 2010).

It seems to me that the sentence follows the basic structure which is: primary sentence "Librarians and administrators can design the flexible spaces, the innovative programs, and the adaptable service". "Librarians and administrators" is the subject, "can design" is the verb and "the flexible spaces (etc.)" is the object and "needs" is a noun.
Regarding the referencing:
“Referencing is generally correct, but use of quotes needs work”. No comments on use of quotes have been made, except cancelling one reference (probably because not in alphabetical order) with no explanation. If referencing is generally correct however the evaluation is poor.
Moreover, is it necessary to add the number of pages when referencing a blog or a conference proceeding (cf. APA, 2013, p.10)?

A part from my observations above it would be good to have additional comments on the remainder of the assignment so that I can improve in the future.
Regards
  

Top answer

I 'm afraid I don't have time to review in detail something so long. Here are a few very quick comments. Do you normally address your tutor so informally?

  • I 'm afraid I don't have time to review in detail something so long.
  • Here are a few very quick comments.
  • Do you normally address your tutor so informally?
  • (Dear John,.
  • .
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3 Answers
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I'm afraid I don't have time to review in detail something so long.
Here are a few very quick comments.

Do you normally address your tutor so informally? (Dear John,. . . . . Regards)

I don't see anywhere that you thank him for his or
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Respected Sir,

I beg to say that i have to attended the marriage of my friend on 13/05/2013. I, therefore, request you to kindly grant me leave for the same day.

Thanking you

Yours Faithfully
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Dear Mr [surname],

I would like to attend the wedding of my friend on May 13th. Would you kindly grant me leave for that day?

Thank you for your consideration.

Yours sincerely,

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